


Behind the Walls of Winterfell

by MagnusAntoniusBarca



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Does R plus L equal J?, F/M, Family, Family Dynamics, Family Secrets, I have a thing for newspapers, Investigatory Journalism, Journalism, Trauma, War, Winterfell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:14:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusAntoniusBarca/pseuds/MagnusAntoniusBarca
Summary: As Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell resigns as president of the family company, Stark Group, in favour of his son Robb, King’s Landing Times are allowed an exclusive interview with the famously reclusive Eddard of house Stark. However, the journalist has no intentions of delivering predictable news. It develops.
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Jon Snow/Ygritte, Meera Reed/Bran Stark, Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Comments: 25
Kudos: 64





	1. Ned Interview pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experiment in storytelling. All of the chapters will be written as articles, largely consisting of interviews. A quick note for worldbuilidng:  
> Here, the (politically powerless) king was democratically elected to be disposed and the monarchy to be abolished. The crazy Aerys II rebelled, though, gathering thousands of loyal soldiers - the Royalists. This conflict shocked the modern Westeros, but the Royalists were defeated. The system of lords was kept, though.

The business world was in shock to hear of Lord Eddard Stark’s resignation, making the news from Skagos to Volantis. It was a move many expected, although far from this early. He has not yet commented on it. We use the exclusive opportunity to ask him about more than just business.

The walls of Winterfell are vast and intimidating. Great, thick stone walls, tall towers, all covered in late autumn snow. It’s all grey and almost colourless; not many Reach architects are likely to find much inspiration here. Nevertheless, that is what is endearing about it; Northerners are content with this style, an impressive structure to withstand the icy winter of the North. Seeing it in the horizon, driving through Wintertown and walking through the gates of the castle, it commands strength. It stands untouched, seems immovable and impervious. There is no fooling around. It knows what it is, the Northerners know and foreigners will be quick to learn just how well the First Men have taken the words of their lordly house to heart: Winter is coming, and this castle screeches: “Well then, come!” I can hardly even begin to imagine what it must’ve been like for the soldiers participating in the few attempted sieges on the castle that have taken place. The stern glare of the grey and cold walls is enough to discourage anyone who dares raise their sword in opposition to it. I am not raising a sword, however, but a pen, and the old Stark castle does not seem to mind.

In wake of Lord Eddard Stark’s resignation as president of Stark Group, King’s Landing Times have been granted exclusive rights to an interview with the middle-aged Lord of Winterfell. His son, Robb Stark, has taken his place and has proven to be effective at this job. Lord Stark now only seems to have stock in the family’s paper, the Winter Herald. Despite having a weekly column in it, Ned Stark, as he goes by, has not been keen on talking about the resignation. Ned, as I’ll be referring him to for the large remainder of this article (at his request), rarely talks to the public about his work or life. We’ve taken to Winterfell for one of the few occasions that he does.

I am greeted in the hallway of the main castle by the man himself and Lady Catelyn Stark at his side. I must admit that I am slightly starstruck. Which Westerosi do not remember the famed footage of him at the entrance to the Red Keep? The gloomy Jaime Lannister in the background, soldiers still holding onto their rifles and the soon-to-be Lord Stark at the centre – the mood not a feather lighter than during the war. We all collectively gasped as he declared the war over and the deposed king as dead. We had won, peace was here and Ned Stark was the face of it all.  
They are well-dressed, but casually so, Lady Catelyn in a thick blue dress which colour reflects the cold weather and Ned in green chinos and a blue blouse. Formalities are exchanged, but they don’t seem to hang onto them too much. After a little small talk, I’m lead to a room on the first floor; decorated in dark red carpets, candlelit and oil paintings of old Stark lords. A decanter with water, two glasses and a little plate with oatmeal cookies are placed at the table between us. Simple and to the point – maybe us south of the Neck could learn a thing or two from that. Ned sits in his large chair, waiting.

**How are you finding life resigned to that of a lord?**

“My life as lord has always been an important aspect ever since the Targaryen Revolt. There is nothing new to this life, nothing that I didn’t have before.”

**But, surely, less than you had before?**

Ned smiles. “Yes, you could say that. It is simpler, I must admit. I can partake in formalities and my duties as a lord that I’ve previously had to soundly neglect and only complete half-heartedly. I see now why my wife could be just as stressed as I” he says, laughing a bit.

**Was that a part of the reason behind your resignation? Being able to spend more time with your wife?**

“Naturally. We have always been happy and content, of course, but there hasn’t been much room for pauses in our marriage – it took time to settle down in the civilian life and find my place in the heritage, fortune, castle and titles that were so suddenly mine. Even with all of our children, the business always required lots of work. I wasn’t going to let my subordinates take care of it all – then you’re not a leader. Then you don’t have a right to give commands at will and demand profits simply because your last name happens to own the company. That’s what I’ve taught my son and I’m happy to see that he’s taken that with him. Speaking of sons, Rickon is 16 and will move out in not too many years. I, we, wanted to experience the last few years with children living at home before it was too late. That’s also part of why I resigned.”

**And congratulations to him, and you, on winning the junior Northern Climbings tournament.**

“Thank you. We’re very proud of him. He trains harder than I ever did in the army back then. You see, even when you know that he’ll be alright and that you’re very proud of what he achieves, I can still hear that low voice, whispering to make him stop climbing. It was terrifying the first few times, seeing him climb.”

**Is he going professional?**

“That is not my decision to make. If he wants to, we will support him in that endeavour.”

**It would be usual for a father to make sure his children have a safe plan B.**

Ned smiles again, knowingly. “I have spoken to him about that, yes. But I’ve made myself very clear, that he ought to pursue his athletic dreams and not getting bogged down by voices in the back of your head.”

**Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you anticipating that route for his older brother?**

“Bran was very fond of climbing, and he still is. But it’s far more of a hobby for him. He’s found much else to cast his passions at, though.”

**What about seeing your firstborn climb?**

“Not quite as terrifying, luckily. He’s just as good at it; otherwise, I wouldn’t have let him become president of the group.”

**You don’t have any say in matters of business any longer?**

“He’s my son – but he’s also the man in charge of the group. He asks me for advice, as any son can and should to their father, but I don’t have a practical say any longer.”

**Rumours were circulating that Robb wasn’t aware that you’d make him president. At least not this early.**

Ned pauses for a moment and finally nods to himself “I can confirm that. He knew that he wasn’t going to have to wait for me to be in the grave before he took over, but he wasn’t expecting it so early.

**Some would say prematurely.**

“I disagree, but I can see where the argument stems from. Didn’t I groom him enough for the position? No, but that was the point. I wasn’t groomed when I took over, either, I had to make do. Now, I’m not one to say that he should have the same experience – I was too unprepared, but I believe that practical work is better than having read a bunch of heavy books and taken notes at seminars. Robb had that beforehand, to a certain extent. But surprising him with the announcement was part of making him a good leader for the company and as future lord of Winterfell.”

**Did it cause a rift in the family? If only temporarily.**

Ned turns his look into that of Lord Stark. It’s not a stare you want to be on the receiving end of. It softens after an awkward moment as he silently forgives me. “My wife and I had our disagreements about it. She didn’t think he was ready. But he’s a man and far more competent than I ever was or could have been. I don’t think either of them realises. Perhaps it was a risky tactic, but the results speak for themselves. Robb himself didn’t believe he could do it either and wanted more time in front of the desk before sitting behind it. He was dissatisfied with my decision, for a brief time. But it stands.”

**Stark Group, StarkTech in particular, has seen a significant rise in value in the last couple of years.**

“My son’s good at what he does.”

**Some have pointed out, though, that when you resigned, the group lost a good deal of value on the market, making the rise not as great as it initially appears.**

“What do you want me to say to that? It’s correct, but also proves that Robb’s skills were better than what various shareholders and speculators expected and that my decision to make him president was the right one to make. As you mentioned with StarkTech; it was a sector that I never really understood. I knew it was important but I lacked insight. Robb doesn’t and has seized opportunities that I never noticed were there.”

**Brandon is currently studying IT and AI at Hightower University. Can we presume that we’ll see him as part of the company once he’s finished his degree?**

“I’m not so sure. He’s a genius at it, and I’m certain Robb would want him in the fold. I just don’t want to pressure the boy too much; he should focus on his studies and then we’ll see. So no, you can’t presume a thing, especially anything coming from me. I have no part in this – you’d have to speak with the president for answers on that one. If you can manage to steal a few minutes of his time.”

**We can presume, though, that we’ll be seeing Robb dressed up and with a bride by his side soon enough.**

Another smile, this one heartily, is brought to Ned’s face. “You can most definitely presume that. We’ve been looking forward to it for months. And years for him getting married at all. It’ll also be a reason for me to leave Winterfell again. I may not be letting it on as much, but I’m just as excited for it as my wife.

**Ms Margaery Tyrell also has a lot on her hands.**

“I don’t think that Robb would like a, uhm, woman who wouldn’t pursue her career to its fullest. My wife decided to stay home with our children much of our time. I will forever thank her for that. But, more importantly, she did it because she wanted to – not because she was pressured. Margaery will not choose the same path. She is as determined in her career as Robb. I’ve only met her thrice, though, but that is my impression of her. She has also been incredibly easy to get along with – everyone in the family likes her. I couldn’t be happier about a match for my son.”

**So will she be a Stark?**

“I hope so. But I genuinely am not aware as of yet. Perhaps you should ask my wife about that one” he laughs. “She’d be welcome into our family.”

**Do you fear the press coverage of the wedding?**

“I’ve faced far worse than paparazzi, so fear would not be putting it right. I can get annoyed, but I know that some coverage is unavoidable.”

**You’ve managed to avoid most of it for many years.**

“I married my wife right after the Targaryen Revolt. My family had been murdered; my father, my brother, my sister. But I wasn’t alone in experiencing such loss. That’s the ultimate truth of war – people die and grief becomes inescapable. I don’t dare think how many thousand lives were lost in that revolt, and not just on the Union side. Royalist families suffered too. I may have been a known face, especially at that time, but what does the marriage of some lord to a lady compare to scars you have to heal? There was no coverage of our wedding and we both quit the public eyes as much as we could. Our lives are not public service. But I realise that it is far from the same situation we’re in now. But both Margaery and Robb can manage this better than Cat and I.”

**Lady Margaery has lived in the public eye for many years. She’s a socialite while managing her magazine, Illusive. It’s undeniable that her image is part of her brand – will that not affect how the public view the Starks?**

“Why do you ask? You already know the answer,” I shake my head, hoping to nudge him on. “It’s not my company any longer. I have no ownership of any of its branches or the group itself. It belongs to Robb. He knows what he’s getting into and, largely, what it will mean for him to marry Margaery. Besides, they’re a photo genetic couple. That has never hurt anyone in terms of publicity. By the way, Milk (the Stark-owned luxury couture brand, edit.) has used plenty of socialites and influencers for promotion. The only difference is that the cameras will now be more focused on Stark members themselves.”

**This is also the second time in a row, where the head of the Stark family marries one that is sworn to another religion. As a businessman, this does not matter one bit, but as Lord Stark…**

“It’s the duty of Lord Stark, whomever it may be, to be faithful, in the literal sense of the word, to the Old Gods. They can be difficult to believe in. You don’t have anyone to tell you what they are, only faces carved into trees. The New Gods, as we call them up here, are more tangible but, to me, also less godlike. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I’m honest before anything else. My wife and I made sure that our children, as well as Jon and Theon, were all raised with knowledge of both religions. They have prayed to both the Old Gods and the New throughout their childhood, in front of both the Winterfell Sept and weirwood tree in the Godswood. They have themselves chosen which ones to follow. I hope Robb will do the same.”

**How much does the religion mean to the Stark family? And to you, specifically?**

“It means a fair deal. To me, at least, and a lot to my wife. I don’t know how much it speaks to my children and wouldn’t say much if I did. And I won’t lie, the Old Gods do not encompass all of my life. We don’t have laws to follow, no rituals to complete. So in that sense, it doesn’t affect the lives of us Northerners. And yet, by the nature of their ominous presence, we are eternally affected. I suppose that’s the basis of our religion. That can be hard for a child to grasp until you convince yourself that you understand it as an adult.”

**You must understand how foreign the Old Gods seem to a believer in the Seven.**

“Of course. It’s a process, understanding their presence. I wouldn’t expect you to understand – that would require a longer stay.”

**Then how does it affect your life? Or Northerners’ in general?**

Ned shuffles in his seat and scratched his stub contemplatively. We both take a sip of water. “That’s a question every Northerner would hesitate to answer. Maybe we don’t fully know. Maybe that’s good and part of the Old Gods themselves; they don’t want us to. What do we pray to them for? It’s easy for you Southerners. When you want justice through revenge, you pray to the Father. When you want a child, the Mother. Strength, the Warrior. It’s not as simple with the Old ones. I don’t know what I prayed for when I asked them for a certain present as a child, or for the safety of my family, the efforts in the war to go well. We do not know the consequences of praying to them. They do not seem to grant it often anyway. However, when I look into those eyes, carved in the trees long before the First Men even got to Westeros, I feel humbled. They know, don’t they? The lies you told, the bad thoughts and all of the dishonourable things you got away with. That’s their power and their strength – their legitimacy. They don’t judge, but they know what you did. Then it’s up to you whether you want to do something about it or not.”

I take another sip of the water, gulping almost all of it down. **If I could then speak to them, the Old Gods, what would they say about you?**

He gives me small eyes. Humbled, I sense his look is channelling that of the Old Gods. “There are many things they would say. But as I said, they wouldn’t, as they don’t judge.”

**Well, telling on someone isn't necessarily judging them. They could lay out the facts and let the judging be the job for the humans.**

“You should work for the Winter Herald.”

I laugh it off, caught off guard. I won’t let it down, though. **What would they say?**

“… Things that happened in the war. Things that I did, things I know others did. What I know happened in the family. Where and when I failed to act and when I did so wrongfully. No man is without his failures. Some can hide them, some can’t, but none can flee from the Old Gods.”

**Things that are between you and them.**

He nods.

**Do you then feel that you let them down? Disappoint them, perhaps?**

“Well, that’s the issue, isn’t it? Do I disappoint them or myself? Or perhaps it is my family that I disappoint.”

**And then it’s up to the family to judge.**

Ned Stark leans forward, adjusting his shirt and looks me directly in the eyes. Not angrily, not even sternly – but seriously. “It has to be. But there is no good gained from being actively disappointed in your children. It’s the hardest punch, bar heinous and barbaric offences, that a decent, normal or good parent can give to their child. You can combat the anger of a parent; justify, or rather, explain it with certain factors. _It was an outburst. He’s stressed._ Things like that. You can also be angry back at them, although that’s rarely productive. But how do you combat a disappointed parent? How can you retaliate in any way? There is nothing that a child wants less than to disappoint their parents. And as a parent, you have to be very selective when you show your disappointment. You can feel it, perhaps, but shouldn’t always show it. There is nothing more damaging to your child than never being proud of them.”

There is a pause in the room, allowing for the crackling of the fireplace to be heard. Ned looks surprised at his own words – or maybe, what lied behind them. The man in front of me never shared a thing with the public. A nerve had been struck and the walls of Winterfell penetrated – and I did not intend to pull out the pen. **Have you ever felt disappointing to someone? Your late parents, your children, your wife?**

“… What about you stay till tomorrow and join us for dinner tonight?”

I humbly accept.

A butler soon shows me the room where I’ll be staying: a large room in the West Tower, decorated authentically with a somewhat stoic but homely interior. I would be provided new clothes for the next day by my host, I was told. Before dinner, I manage to spot Arya Stark, who doesn’t show up at the table later. Ned’s infamous son, Jon “Snow” Stark does, though. General small talk is made and when I ask him if he’s up for talking further in the evening, he declines. I head back to my chambers with more questions than answers that night.

At the request of Ned, and by the nature of my journalistic ethics, none of any conversations or events other than those explicitly condoned by Ned will be brought, hence the vague description above. The continuation of the interview will be published soon.


	2. Ned Interview pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few clarifying notes:  
> 1\. Here, Children of the Forest exist as a different species but lives in the North, somewhat integrated into society.  
> 2\. In the Targaryen Revolt, Aerys managed to take King's Landing when it was left unguarded and held it for two weeks, until Jaime Lannister went rogue with a squad and assassinated him.  
> 3\. Sorry for the slow update. It's hard to write during a heatwave.

Our portrait interview of Ned Stark continues.

Winterfell wakes early. The wind howls in the black outside on the other side of the window. Breakfast is served in my room as if I were at a 5-star hotel and I make my way down the stairs. The interview is scheduled in a little over an hour. Sneaking my way around the courtyards and along the walls, admiring the centuries-old light posts and freezing in the northern cold. People were running errands and in no mood for talking. Perhaps they don’t trust a southern inquirer and I get looks from many. Scepticism is rampant in these parts – considering my intentions, I can’t blame them.  
Running footsteps can be heard some distance behind me and I turn to see. Wearing athletic clothes of colours unable to define in the dark, it’s a man and small woman. Their faces become identifiable as they pass me; both Jon Snow and Arya Stark share their countrymen’s distrust. They are clearly in good shape and soon out of sight. I wonder how far they can truly run.

Time is running, too, though, and I go to the room we used yesterday as well. As I enter, Ned Stark sits ready in his chair, not a sign of tire.

**Ned Stark, I would need to start by thanking you for letting me stay the night – and for granting us the possibility of such a long interview.**

“It’s my pleasure. I can’t stay hidden forever.”

**Why not?**

“As lord, it is my duty to have some sort of public presence. I could maybe avoid it for as long as I was in business. This was a good opportunity.”

**Your wife, Lady Catelyn Stark, took care of most the ceremonial duties in your stead. Do you feel that is shouldn’t have been so?**

“The formal ceremonies, visits, cultural events all much more belong to traditions south of the Neck. She’s also from a lordly family and much better equipped for that than a Stark. I remember once when I couldn’t get back to White Harbour from King’s Landing due to complications at a meeting. It was the opening of the New Northern Museum, we (Ned and Lady Stark, edit.) had been invited and I had been prompted to hold a speech. There was no way for me to be there, so I sent her some half-hearted bullet points as to what to say during that speech. It wasn’t after until the next day when I called her and asked how it went. She answered that it had gone very well because she left out all of the ideas I had sent her.” He laughs deeply and it is easy to see that his thoughts are far away from the interview. “Maybe I should have been more present but I wouldn’t have contributed much. Now that I only have lordly duties left, I can maybe, only maybe, get on her level.”

**Do you think that lordly formalities are a thing that stems from south of the Neck? Are they “unnorthern”?**

“I was asked to become a ser, a knight, after the war. Declare myself as one or being named one by another lord. But it does not lie in the Northern DNA. Of course, much historical intermingling with Andals have brought many traditions up north and it would be foolish to attempt to sort them out in the pursuit of some “true” Northern identity. We should keep some of our tradition, though.”

**So Northerners should not become knights?**

“Not a knight in the name of the New Gods. But you’re right, my hesitance concerning knighthood is largely symbolic. Public officials affiliated with the Old Gods shouldn’t be declared knights, even if that is just a vague way to hold onto old ideas. But those ideas are relatively harmless. I personally find the whole concept odd, if not… problematic. Why do you need to have yourself raised and achieve status through a title? I would like to think that whatever status I may enjoy today is not a product simply of me being a lord and much more due to my deeds as a father and as an honest man.”

**And in the war, I suppose?**

Ned Stark, war hero of the Targaryen Revolt, only nods slightly as a response. The room suddenly feels smaller.

**You hesitate.**

“I do.”

**Few people would call your deeds something worth hesitating over. You’re practically the face of post-monarchy Westeros.**

“Westeros was already gathered in a democratic union before Aerys was deposed. He had no power over anyone. It was just a southern formality.” His muscles are tenser and his voice is unwavering.

**The First Men had kings before the Targaryen Conquest too. You can hardly pin monarchy and lordship purely on Andal culture.**

“No, but the general consensus of keeping a monarch after they had been made politically obsolete can be. I don’t think the North would have gone the same route, but this quickly becomes an extremely hypothetical discussion.”

**You’re generally revered down south. Do you think that will lessen after this interview?**

He chuckles, “You see why my wife is much better with these things than I?”

**But you are also revered because of your family name. All lordly families are. Is that a clash of values for you?**

“I’m perfectly aware of my privilege. However, I don’t believe that I must necessarily give up my titles for the sake of achieving acknowledgement. It’s possible to have it both ways but that means that you have to prove yourself outside of your birth. Few of noble heritage decide to spend their lives basking in the fortune of the body in which their souls were placed at birth. I do dislike the attitude some have, that we nobles are somehow superior. Our titles are symbols of tradition, of cultural unity. That is the duty of lords and ladies. It’s what I’ve taught my children and what I hope they will teach theirs. We’re also more than just our titles, even if it helps us forward in life a great deal.”

**Previously, I noticed some Children (of the Forest) working here at the castle. I couldn’t help but think if that had been a deliberate decision to hire them.**

“Not my personal decision, but I have, of course, nothing against them working here. That must’ve been the chief of staff’s choice.” I await him to follow up on his own, he already knows me enough as to realise I’m asking for something more. Ned Stark is a man of truth. “They belong to the North. I condemn any action taken against them on the basis of their species. If you experienced some here yourself, you can bring it to me.”

**So it was not a political decision?**

“As lord, I’m not allowed to speak publicly on politics.”

**Many of them migrated from beyond the Wall a few decades ago. How do you reckon the Northerners have taken it?**

“I… The Northerners seem to have taken it well. The First Men made a pact with the Children thousands of years ago on the Isle of Faces, which still stands as it stood then; almost completely untouched. To me, that shows that the North took their gods and their vows to the Children seriously. It has made sure that the island remained a cultural and religious heritage to be left on its own. We may have been at war, but peace was eventually found between the species. Our forefathers, on both sides, pledged not to be hostile to one another again. The North remembers. Those words ring true for Starks, First Men and Children alike.”

**How will they take the thousands of countryless people that will soon arrive from the north?**

The Northern Parliament has just passed a controversial law that will allow for much easier migration from beyond the Wall, as they have seen many struggles in the frozen lands. They will be allowed to settle within the Gift and given aid from the Northern state to promote integration. Although under surveillance from the government, they have previously been left largely to themselves, at their request.  
“There is undeniably a much more contentious history between them and us,” he pauses at his own words, “even in the language that I just used, it’s visible. I doubt that they will be as easily integrated into our society as the Children have been. I recognise the prevalent sentiment against them, although I do not necessarily share it.”

**So the North remembers bad relations, too.**

“All of it.”

**This seems like an exception – but the Free Folk are from the North and of First Men descent. The North already has quite strict immigration policies. Is it a justifiable exception?**

“All the nations of Westeros have strict policies in that area, maybe the North in particular. But I think, just as any other Westerosi is welcome to work and live in the North, that they are welcome to at least that. You would be, too.”

**But not to citizenship?**

“You’ve gotten enough politics out of me already.”

**Will you be joining the other Northern lords in their hunting parties?**

Just as in the other countries, hunting is popular among Northerners and has been for centuries – especially among the aristocracy. Many consider parts of the North to be the best for hunting due to its vast, open fields and the Wolfswood.  
“I have no intention of doing so. It’s… Not my thing. And it never has been. I recall my father taking Brandon and me with him to hunt an elk, refusing assistance from the professional hunters that were usually with him. He was quite capable himself. I must’ve been 10 or 11. Brandon was excited, talking about how he had already been on one and helped our father shooting a deer. He was good at it, but often bragging… We went, spent hour after hour going around, listening and scouting all we could. It was starting to get dark and we had packed too little food, eating it all during the afternoon. I asked him if we could go back to the helicopter and to Winterfell, and, for once, Brandon was on my side. He was a kid, too. When we mustered up the courage to stand up to him, tell him what we were doing was not getting us anywhere. He told us that firstly, sons of lords do not back down. Secondly, that hunters do not return without a prey shot and caught. Finally, he asked us what we would be if we returned to Winterfell without results. _‘What do you think built the Starks? Why did the Starks rule over others, why did they choose to make some their subordinate lords and others not?’_ We were unable to answer. _‘Because we hunt better than others. It’s what makes a man. You dare return to Winterfell, your home, without something to give. Otherwise, we will only have been away for the sake of ourselves. You must prove that what you do is for those you hold dearly.’_ We had no answer to this either. So, the hunt continued and in the early evening, my father finally spotted what we came for, over there on the hill, by the stream, hidden amongst large beech trees: an elk – horns large and strong, prideful. He told me to take aim and stood right beside me as I looked through the scope. Telling me to be calm and steady. Control my breath. The trigger is harder to press than most would think, especially when you are in the situation and you’re a child. The lower neck, I had it in my sight, bullet ready in the chamber. My father, sister, brothers, my mother, I could only imagine their pride when I pulled the trigger. Maybe the head would hang amongst the other trophies inside the walls of my home. Time slowed down and both my father and I held our breaths, steadying the aim. But in the crucial moment, when the goal was so easy to achieve – I couldn’t do it. My finger didn’t listen and my body began ruling my mind. After pushing me and realising that I wasn’t going to shoot, he urged Brandon to fire instead. He missed and the elk ran away before our father could shoot himself. The night was closing tightly in on us and there was no way we would see it again that night.”

**So you went to bed hungry that night?**

Ned doesn’t look me in the eye as he answers. “Yes, I did. The three of us did, building a shabby shelter, lying close in each of our sleeping bags. We didn’t want to sleep close to him, but he insisted. I… I never got to properly speak about that night with either of them. I’m still conflicted on what my father said. I suppose a hunter can mean many things. I think his grandson is better at hunting than I am. At least, since that night, I never wanted to go on a hunt again.”

**What does hunting mean to you?**

“I believe what my father told me. In the sense that doing and working for your family makes a man, a man. Women, too, naturally, but you get the point… However, I dislike the attitude he had towards it. It seemed… Not to only view it as a necessity, but something to take joy and pride in. You can do that, but there are many other ways of going about it and put your attention elsewhere. I view it as a necessary evil and make sure my pride is in my children and how I can raise them, not what I can bring back from a hunt.”

**So, rather a hunt for other humans?**

“What do you mean?” Ned immediately looks flustered. “If you’re talking about the war-”

**I am. What makes it right for you to kill others on the field of battle and not in the Wolfswood?**

“There is a stark difference. You don’t have a right to insult me that way.”

**Not insulting, Ned, but asking questions. This is my job.**

“Questioning my integrity?”

**I am not a Northerner, Ned Stark, so I don’t hold severe reverence for the Stark name, no more than a Rhoynar would for a Tully. You stated you sought more of the public duties as Lord. This is one of them.**

“I did not hunt other humans. I had chosen to join the Westerosi United Forces, deliberately. I knew what I was going into. This isn’t my father or commander ordering me to murder humans to prove something to myself or my family. The duty in the army is to defend Westeros. Regardless of other ventures of the Westerosi Forces, I believe that my part is firmly justified.”

**How so? They couldn’t have been talked down?**

“No. They were monarchist fanatics. While I in no way would advocate for them to be wiped off the face of Planetos, I believe-“

**Just prior to the Battle of the Trident, you ordered an artillery strike on the Royalist encampment. Was that justified?**

“Are you trying to get a bad interview?”  
The room is suddenly very quiet, only the wind howling outside the window to be heard. I sip from my glass of water, my eyes not wavering away from his.  
“I… That is just how modern warfare goes. We don’t fight with swords in duels any longer. It was a battle we had to win decisively. They were terrorists, essentially, the way they attacked people in the streets all over Westeros. It had to end and the Royalists needed to understand that. Necessary casualties. Like hunting.”

**Do you consider that honourable, to be the one who takes the necessary casualties?**

“I’m not sure if honourable is the right word. If you’re deliberately seeking out that sort of martyrdom, it definitely isn’t. I perhaps joined the military with that mindset, but quickly came to realise how selfish that thought process was; believing that you sacrifice your life to satisfy some moral conviction within yourself. You can, and ought to, self-improve, but that’s the thing – it never comes in the way you expect. It’s a profession and a fine one at that, work that you can believe should be done, like many other types of work. I know we give medals and anoint knights from the Army, still, but I do not buy this notion of honour by default within the military. In some cases, maybe. In some types of war. I don’t find my deeds in the Targaryen Revolt to be honourable.”

**Your second son, Jon Snow, joined the military. Did, or does, he feel that as a sacrifice?**

I sense Ned’s hesitation as he looks at his feet and answers in quite a low voice.  
“You’d have to ask him yourself about that.”

**What made Jaime’s deeds so worthy of condemnation? Was he acting dishonourably?**

“The man put thousands, possibly millions of people’s lives at risk. How do you think I cannot possibly condemn that? One thing is going against protocol. Another is disobeying his superiors. Both of those can be excused if the reason against is strong enough. He was under my and other’s direct authority but acted on his own impulse, his desire to become a hero. It hardly matters that he was successful; it was without care that he put all of those lives at stake. Was he good? Yes, he was a fantastic captain in terms of pure capability on the battlefield and missions. However, that does not make him a good judge of a strategic situation or a moral one. We would have gotten Aerys anyway, of that there is no question. But we needed to approach the situation with care and there were too many ways in which Jaime could have failed, causing Gods know how much ill. Yes, he was acting dishonourably.”

**No doubt why you opposed him receiving the Medal of the Guards. He will likely read this. Do you have anything to say to him that he hasn’t heard before?**

“Correct. He did not deserve it but I’ll happily support it the day that he does. And no, I have nothing to say to the man.”

**Stormborn, she’s called. You specifically took care of her. How come?**

“She was an innocent child. I’m sure you and your readers will remember Gregor Clegane, the anti-monarchist terrorist, and his crimes. He killed two, completely innocent children and a woman who had been pushed into a horrible situation. I feel sorrow whenever I think of her. There was nothing just about what occurred; she was of no harm to anyone and hardly a supporter of the Royalists. I knew Stormborn’s life would be in danger, or at least at risk of being a bad one, if no one took care of her, with that psychopath running about. I had to intervene before anyone else. Robert would have seen her exiled from Westeros but she did not deserve such.”

**Why did you prosecute Gregor Clegane at the War Court in Maidenpool and not Jaime Lannister?**

“I may have disagreed and condemned much of what Jaime Lannister did, but at least he did it to accomplish something in the fight, for himself and the greater goal of Westeros. He may have been somewhat reckless but his target was the right one. The ones he killed were enemies of Westeros. Children cannot be enemies of anything but Gregor killed two anyway. That is unforgivable, malicious and deserving only of the most severe of punishments.”

**He killed two children and you brought two home to Winterfell. Was that an attempt to right some wrongs done in the war?**

“In no way whatsoever. Elia’s children, and herself, should be alive today and aren’t. That I made sure two other children had a decent upbringing and home, one of them my son, does not make up for anything. Some wrongs can be healed by doing right, but far from most. Lost lives are not among them.”

**You have previously stated that you owe your life to Howland Reed. In what sense?**

“It was on our mission to defeat the last royalists. I suppose you already know the story: they were led by Arthur Dayne, a good man fighting for the wrong side. We found their hideout and our group attacked them. They were good, probably the best unit on the Royalist side. I got cornered and was in a tough spot, thought it was over but was saved at last minute by Howland Reed. I can’t remember all of the details and I wouldn’t give them if I could, but I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him.”

**You got to be quite close to him then, I imagine.**

“It’s the kind of friendships that are hard to achieve elsewhere. Training together, in the field together, working together; knowing each other’s ins and outs. We knew each other somewhat before the war and the military, but we were moulded by our time spent inside. Besides being a great soldier, he was and is the best friend one could hope for. I told him that I would make sure that he was repaid for what he did on that mission, but he would have none of it.”

**His daughter works from the Reach for your newspaper.**

Ned laughs heartedly. “I can see how that looks bad. I assure you that I had no part in hiring her for the Winter Herald. And as you said, she works from the Reach, where she studies – ecology or something. It’s far from a fulltime job, so even if I did have a hand in it, it’s hardly a grand act of nepotism. I only heard that she worked for it a few weeks ago. But I’m glad for what she provides us. She’s a good writer.”

**And her relationship to your third son?**

“Something that I can only support. In fact, it has gotten me closer to Howland again, made both her and my son happier, so there is nothing to complain about on that front. Some have pointed the age difference between the two out, but I honestly cannot see how that matters. I do not think that it does.”

**You don’t think that relationship had anything to do with her acceptance into Hightower University?**

“I have enough belief in the integrity of that university as to believe that they do not care for such factors. And before you ask, because I know you will; no, I did not pay her fee.”

**Why did you feel the need to bring Howland along for the last mission in the war?**

“As mentioned, he was a good soldier and a trusted friend. It was quite a natural choice to bring him along. Jaime was out of the questi-”

**Rather, why did you feel the need to go do it yourself?**

Ned Stark suddenly looks more serious than I’ve seen him before. “I’m afraid that’s confidential.”

**I did some digging in old files and found that the hideout was a private hospital facility. I couldn’t help but wonder why.**

His face doesn’t become any less strict. “It belonged to the Targaryen monarchy. I guess they didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

**Was it because they had taken your sister as prisoner there?**

“No, it was not.”

He is very stern and I can sense that I’m on walking a thin line. Whatever will catch me when I fall, I decide to go for it. **You have never mentioned Jon’s mother to anyone. Rumour has it that he doesn’t even know himself.**

“I do not intend to discuss private family matters with some journalist from King’s Landing.”

**She has asked for anonymity?**

“I will no longer discuss this with you.”

Time to make the jump. **Who died that day, Ned Stark? Ashara Dayne? Lyanna?**

Ned rises and points me in the face, the muscles in his body completely tensed up. “I will not give life to some disgusting decades-old rumours and it will certainly not be to you. This interview is over. You will leave early tomorrow. Goodbye.” He storms off.

It is hard to keep a straight face when confronted with a man of such calibre getting angry at you. My pen is shaking slightly as I see him go through a door at the other end of the room. My last attempts at jotting down notes fail, still shaking. I feel that I’ve failed.

Soon, however, his words are contradicted. The same butler who yesterday showed me my room, comes to tell that I “must pardon Lord Stark’s inappropriate outburst and that the interview is not over.” It was, however, put on pause and I was not allowed to interview him for days until he decided otherwise. But, the Stark family doesn’t only consist of its patriarch. I did not eat dinner with any of them that evening.

Next part of the interview will be published in the next issue.


	3. Arya Interview

Two days pass without much interaction with the Stark family. I only make small talk and tread lightly on the harsh stone ground. The castle is almost what you would expect it to be, looking from the outside. It feels as old as it looks, with many of the hallways and corridors almost bare, the walls decorated with some lights and carpets. You won't find people spending time there; they're for transportation, not hanging out (aside from young couples in the corners now and again).  


The rooms are a different talking matter, though: still following the raw theme of Winterfell, they feel luxurious without being extravagant. There are countless of them, most of them uninhabited. I ask the maester what they are used for today, if anything. "Guest rooms, mostly. It would have been common for the great lordly houses to have guests staying most of the time - important travellers, such as diplomats, distant family members or people from other houses. There was a mutual agreement that you always treated guests with much hospitality so that you could expect the same treatment if you one day needed their bed." I am not sure whether I qualify as an important traveller, but I am thankful, nonetheless.

After gaining permission, I have dared myself into their godswood. If Winterfell gives the impression of old, its godswood is the realisation of it. The strong sentinels, tall oaks, make sure you forget all about aeroplanes and computers. The heads of the trees are large, needles covering the already weak sunlight. You forget the time here, just as the wood itself seem impervious to the march of time. Immovable and intimidating. It's not a place for a cosy picnic and I don't see anyone else here, even in the middle of the day. I eventually approach the centrepiece of it all. Before a steaming pond, a face carved into the white bark of a huge tree stares at me, inescapable, as when an actor stares into the camera. It will always have its eyes focused on you, those harrowing holes and gaping mouth. I'm not welcome, but why? I feel commanded to near me the giant tree, to confess, but as Ned said, it already knows.

The maester approaches me. He has searched a bit and tells me about the godswood and the Heart Tree - which he asks to remain confidential. Winterfell is not as public as the Starks that inhabit it. He also tells me of my next interviewee. I am immediately reminded of computers and their ability to research.

Later than what her father would have chosen, Arya walks through the door and before introductions are made, she takes a seat and grabs some of the pistachios from the bowl on the small table between our chairs.

**Ms Arya Stark, you work and study down in Sunspear. How come you're in Winterfell?**

"Am I suddenly not allowed to be in my childhood home any longer?"

**Has it been a long time since last?**

"No longer than usual."

**Winterfell is your childhood home. Sunspear is about the farthest you can go, staying on Westeros.**

"The world is smaller. And we have private planes; we don't need to worry about distance when travelling."

**Remind me, how old are you, Ms Arya?**

"21. And stop calling me miss."

**It makes you feel older than 21?**

"No, it's not really that. It's more the formality surrounding it. It feels so unnecessary, dated, even. And don't even get me started on lady. That's reserved for someone like mum, Sansa or Marg. Even then…"

**It still feels dated?**

"Exactly. Because it is - a heritage from a time long gone. I always protest against it when called so. Up here, they know that I don't like it - down in Dorne, they still have to get used to it. And I don't blame them, how could they know? It's literally on my birth certificate, _Lady Arya Lyanna Stark_. I looked into it, once, actually - and I discovered that I can't even change it. Well, I can, but only if I legally renounce my Stark heritage, name, everything. Which sure as hell isn't going to happen."

**So, it is not that important after all.**

"No, of course not. It's a title. Archaic, I'd say, but it ultimately only means as much as we say it does. I cannot control how others view it, especially not when most other ladies have views opposing mine, but I can distance myself from it. I didn't ask for it, but my mother would cut ties with me if I dared suggest going to further lengths. It's her family as much as mine and hey - if that's the price, I'd call it a bargain."

**You do realise how many millions of women wished that they could be a lady?**

"Naturally. But just as many millions of men wish that they could be a lord or at least a ser. It's not about the word, that's just a signifier for the important stuff; living in a castle, having legal privileges and a vast fortune at your disposal. That's just called being a human." She gives me an embarrassed expression. "Sorry! Being a conscious species, then."

**No harm done. You have previously shown how strong your distaste for ladyhood was. Why did you pick up retail?**

"I was, what, 16? You can essentially boil it down to teenage rebellion. I guess I picked what I found to be the furthest removed from life as a privileged lady - working as a cashier is the polar opposite of what I had done before. And to be honest, I chose it just to spite my mum."

**I quote: _'I don't see what the big issue is. I work like everybody else and get the same pay. There's nothing different about me.'_ That's your quote. Do you still view it in the same way?**

"That quote is embarrassing, and no, I don't have the same view today. At least not in the same context. I do still believe in being treated as an equal in my musical work - I don't want to receive special treatment in fields where skills determine your opportunities, just because my last name is Stark. Sure, it has helped me get into SAFA (Sunspear Academy of Fine Arts, edit.) but from then on, it has been my own hard work in studying that is getting me progress. Today I recognise how someone like me working as a cashier could be considered insulting. I apologised back then, though, and I won't do it again."

**How long did you work as a cashier?**

"It can't have been much longer than 3 or 4 months."

**What made you quit?**

"You're sitting here criticising me for something I did 5 years ago when my teenage tendencies peaked. Imagine what I had to withstand when it was actually happening. I don't need to hear it again."

**So, cashier; no. But that's still a long way to Dorne and jazz composing.**

Arya eases up a little. "I never really considered that, but I suppose that's true. Back then, it also served as me not knowing what to do with my life. It seemed like all of my siblings were already heading in a certain direction and getting a grip on life. Meanwhile, I was just kinda there in the background, not knowing the way to the front. I hardly knew what I liked myself, much less what I wanted to work with. And one day, Sansa invited me along to a classical concert down in Highgarden. I knew she liked that type of music, and I had always been secretly jealous of her skills on the piano. I didn't want to go, but I had not seen her in a long time and besides, what other plans did I truly have? So, I went, and it was… Well. I hadn't expected my reaction. You know that feeling when you watch a sad movie? How it swells up in your body? That's how I felt that evening. It wasn't out of sadness, but I did feel something cathartic. I started to learn some basic piano, but that wasn't for me. There is too little movement involved. So, I went on to the violin, couldn't get that working for me either. Trumpet, then! By the time I started to get good at that, I got tired of it alll. Classical music was too prim and proper for my liking. Maybe I just couldn't live with being too close in my profession to something both my mum and sister loved. There is no room for improvisation, no individuality. I needed that. I switched in an instant, without telling anyone. I moved to the saxophone, which became my main instrument. And studying jazz compositions, as compared to classical, was far more exciting. Always more going on. That's where I am at right now, but I've got a long road ahead still."

**A northern lady composing jazz in Dorne, hardly a sight anyone's used to.**

"There aren't many women in jazz, least of all in composing. I suppose it would stand out anywhere. I'm just thankful for how open the Dornish are about this - they are far more accepting of such things and don't care much for gender in many aspects. It's quite different from here and a good place to be when you can't fit in elsewhere. I had to get used to the heat, though."

**Will you settle down there?**

"That is too early to call. There isn't that much tradition for jazz in Dorne, it's just the Academy that has become the centre of musical education. I could try and bring it to the North but I can hardly say this early, there are many possibilities, still."

**You and your sister attempted to settle in King's Landing. Neither lives there now - how come?**

"It was my sister's infatuation with the city that drove her there, and when I decided to leave Winterfell, I had no idea as to where I should head. The capital has opportunities for every desire. Even though that is true, I never really did anything of importance while I lived there. I didn't manage to find my motivation for anything despite being served everything on a silver platter. It was just passing time and trying to have fun while doing so. It was not until Sansa left when I understood how little the capital meant to me. Perhaps it's because of the vastness in possibilities that I find it unappealing."

**It's not everything about the city that you found unappealing.**

"What do you mean?"

**While Sansa and Joffrey parted, it seemed that you got in contact with the latter. On what basis was this?**

Arya gives me small eyes, and, despite her size, she has great capability of installing intimidation. "It was only for a short time and nothing between me and him specifically. And how is this worthy of the acclaimed paper that you work for? You think upper middle class and elite readers down south, care for what I was up to for a month several years ago?"

**You're a lady, Arya, of the Stark family. Everybody cares a little.**

"It was a short period, understood? I don't feel proud of it. It was a silly attempt to fill a hole I knew couldn't be filled in the capital. He held the most lavish fucking parties you can ever come across. It's all the stereotypes about us and more. Decadence was the name of the game and if you remember half of what had happened, you didn't do it right. He probably still holds them, the meek little weasel. What else does he have other than luring rich people to his penthouse after filling it with music, drugs, expensive alcohol, and naked girls? I was lured myself, wanting to taste the decadence and utter waste of wealth. Up here, restraint is valued. It's opposite in the capital, at least for his social circle. They don't care if it's frowned upon by some, they embrace it and revel in their sense of superiority. And tell you what - it is a great feeling. Now, was that enough for you?"

**Do you frown upon that part of yourself?**

"... yes. But I don't regret having done it. You have to test yourself and see sides that you otherwise suppress, even if it is indeed justified - then you just have to see why that is so."

**Did you think that, going to those parties?**

"Not deliberately. But I knew deep down that it wasn't me, to do those things. It was great trying, but I knew it was only temporary and however hard I tried, our mindsets never aligned"

**What did you do?**

"Only a select few know, but I'll leave the answers to the interpretive imagination of your upper-middle-class readers."

**I would never read gossip, and neither would you, of course, but something seemed to have spilt over from them; maybe another thing, you liked about the capital?**

"You don't think you've gotten me to admit enough to you already?"

**So you know what I'm talking about.**

"I'm not stupid. Gods, how I hate those stupid rumours, living off ambiguity as long as they can. Yes, we are seeing each other. So far. And it's nothing more than that. I thought King's Landing Times was a serious newspaper?"

**This is about you and for most humans, romance is a big deal. How big a deal is it for you?**

"If you want to talk about candlelit fancy dinners and walking by a lake in the clear moonlight, you're interviewing the wrong Stark daughter. She would daydream of getting love letters and I swear that she pretended to receive them when we were little. She can have her romantic evenings and man to sweep her off her feet. That is the last thing I want, but I don't blame her for that desire. I hope she gets to experience that, it's just not for me. Rather, I think romance can come in a lot of ways for me. I wouldn't want to put up a set of requirements other than what I feel."

**Why is that?**

"I think you exclude a lot of possibilities that way. If you do set up ideals that it must meet for you to engage in romance, you only make it about yourself. A reflection of what you see yourself as."

**There shouldn't be standards for love? Romance? Dating?**

"Of course there should be, that's not what I'm saying. You should still expect certain things if you feel it is necessary. However, that's what you should examine about yourself; maybe there are some expectations you ought to change. Don't write them in stone."

**It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought.**

"I've… I've kinda had to. There were, and are, so many unwritten requirements for a potential partner for me. And for the rest of the quasi royalty, anyway. They'll have to be successful, beautiful, handsome, intelligent and preferably of some good heritage."

**But you reject those expectations.**

"The thing is, I try to. I think it's systemic. We all seek the best partners and with the life we're given, opportunities are limited. You become picky - you're always considering if there's someone else better, just around the corner. But you'll have to settle down at some point, whether or not you do so with romance. We're all a bit hypocritical in that; proclaiming love as the ultimate drive of our choice of partners. There is always something else. Not only cynical self-interest, of course not, but we shouldn't be fooled into thinking an altruistic love is all that drives us to, in fact, love someone romantically."

**What has driven yours?**

"I'm not quite sure yet. Is it just me being rebellious? Does it matter if it works out? He is still met with a lot of prejudice because of his profession and social status in our circles. It becomes hard to ignore. You learn not to care about what they think, whether it comes from southern snobs or your own family."

**Has he not yet been accepted?**

"He has, but there was some hesitance. That annoyed me greatly, how the reduced my personal choices to irrelevant reactions of a young girl. Some took it better than others – I don’t need to tell you who. But I tell you what I fear; if the system works, his dirty mechanic hands will change over time and instead get used to holding glasses of wine at receptions instead of changing the oil on cars in the garage. The aristocracy is frighteningly capable of transforming others who come from the outside."

**Would that be a bad thing? Would that mean you'd love him less?**

"I wouldn't, but I think it shows our inability to adapt. We change those that come to us, no matter how different. It takes resilience not to be changed and most find one that already belong to our class. Margaery fits like a glove and you damn well bet my sister will make her future man fit like one too.”

**Is your sister then perpetuating a system of upper-class social norms?**

"You won't get me to call her out like that. But, so am I. You think I'd readily give up my privileges and wealth to simply work against such a system? It's deeply embedded in our minds and lives. You can take a stance on certain aspects, but you won't single-handedly revolutionise social behaviour like that."

**You're seeing someone. That's all fine, but as you're living in Sunspear, how much are you seeing the other important people in your life?**

"You asked me in the beginning why I was in Winterfell. There isn't any special occasion and my visit just happened to coincide with yours. It's not too often I come here, as I have plenty of things on my hands down south. This is where I grew up, after all. This is where I can always go, where I will always be welcome. That's home." Arya pauses for the first time during the interview. "When Sansa left for Highgarden, after all the debacle with Joffrey in King's Landing, I didn't go with her. There was and is not anything for me in Highgarden. I stayed in Landing for a few months, and I… I…"

**That would have been the first time you lived on your own.**

"No, Sansa and I didn't live together either in King's Landing. It's not like I can't manage my own place. It was, however… I guess I realised that I had always lived closely with my family. In Winterfell, naturally, and then in King's Landing. When Sansa was the last to leave, I kinda fell into some not-so-well months. My family were the only really important people in my life at that time, whereas all of my siblings and even my parents all had relationships outside of the family. Which was a revelation that came a bit sudden."

**How did you react to that revelation?**

"I'd had much time to find motivation and figure out what to do while I was there, but I always had a safe space. Now that it was gone, I became restless. I remember having a period of frequent night walks and sleeping into the afternoon. However, I couldn't make King's Landing my home. It never was - and I don't think it ever will be. Finding people to be around wasn't exactly a problem - finding friends, actual friends, though, was. It wasn't until that concert that I found some motivation for myself and moved to Sunspear after being accepted at the academy."

**_"Actual friends"?_ **

"There were plenty of acquaintances to make. Many of them are nice people, too - but ultimately too superficial for my taste. Those requirements of being cool, always doing the right things, wearing the right things and being with the right people, all that - it stops them from being themselves and me from being a part of their community."

**Have you found some in Sunspear, then?**

"I have. They aren't as uptight down there, which suits me perfectly."

**You mentioned your family as the only really important people in your life, before moving to Sunspear. You don't have others from Winterfell? From school, maybe?**

"Nothing ever gets more important than family. That will always be paramount. You can choose some of your family, though. I firmly believe that, something I've learned down in Dorne. Well, I already knew it - I do think of Theon as my family - but I just realised it down south. However, it requires being mutually close and I don't think I had that, going to school in the North. None of us siblings had, I think. Sansa had Jeyne, sure, and we all had a great and strong network - but not close friendships outside our little circle. You have to understand that we were incredibly sheltered. One thing is social and economic privilege, another is literally growing up inside these walls. They belong to the Starks and everybody always knew that. Even if we went to school with other kids that were well-off, we were Starks and thus, different - if not by much, then just enough so that we would not get to be too close with the other kids. We were popular, in a sense, but only superficially. Most of the friendships weren't deep and you became adept at detecting genuine intention from the opposite.  
Our parents also imprinted our heritage onto us. While only doing it in good faith, it did somewhat separate us from the “normal” people. Always getting told you are different, and having something as concrete as our home and name to support that, it becomes hard to deny as a child."

**You seem to have made a lot of thoughts about your privilege. How come it bothers you so?**

"I'm not sure if it bothers me. To some extent, maybe, but not really. It has primarily been about confronting it, being faced with the reality of others. While some parts of Sunspear are rich, Dorne is much poorer than the North. You quickly pick up on that. I hope that would make anyone consider the hand they've been dealt in life, good or bad."

**You're the only one of your siblings who, besides Jon Snow, seem to have dared seriously against your shared "shelter". Why do you think that is?**

"Why do you get that impression? My siblings are all very aware of our advantageous position."

**Aware, yes, but you're the only one who's taken a stance on it.**

Arya studies me for a bit. "That may be so. But is it suddenly required for them to do so? They have found their interest and life. My big brother in business, my sister can always find a modelling job or a position as ambassador for some big company. Bran is a genius and perpetually headhunted like a dragon while my youngest brother is outperforming everyone in mountain climbing. Let them have their lives."

**Your older brother is replacing your father as president. I discussed with the latter if that was the right thing to do. What does your gut tell you about this replacement?**

The jazz student snickers and, half-sarcastically, slaps her knee. "Replacement? He can't replace father. Look, he might be great with numbers and making the right call in the business world. I don't doubt that. He's clever, handsome and about to marry a beautiful and rich woman - but he's not going to replace him. Robb would be the first to admit. You know, he always commanded us around when we were children, always the entitled leader. The Stark heritage had a habit of going to his head, but, whenever it did, father was the one to put it down. Authority comes naturally from him, Robb has to work for it. I don't know much about how they'll cooperate in the future, but I've never known him to be able to stand against father's word. Robb is clever, father is that and wise. He has a very long way before he'll be in any capacity of replacing father; not as group president, but as Lord Stark."

**Are you capable of standing against your father's word yourself?**

Without taking her eyes off me, she takes a good sip of her glass of water. Arya then takes a pistachio from the bowl. The splitting of the shell fills the room. "You know, it's easy to deconstruct it all with some feminist theory of patriarchal society, supporting Lords, the heads of millennia-old houses having power by default of the circumstances of their mere existence. Even if that has some merit, it's an entirely different matter when that person is your father. That's not just an addition to the equation, that’s a completely different problem. When I didn't fit in, he was the one to back me up, not try to nudge me into conformity. When I didn't know what to do, he was the one to give me time. When I was rebellious, or rather, when I was more so, father was accepting and only gave me necessary resistance. In our shared childhood, mother was the most controlling and the one who made the most calls. However, we could often resist or talk our way around it. Father wouldn't meddle as much with what we were up to, but if he really wanted something, there wasn't anything you could do. In a way, he gets the final say. It doesn't just come from sternness, though, also from the respect you automatically have for him. It's always noticeable when seeing him interact with new people, how much they seem to genuinely respect him. You felt the same, didn't you?"

**Respect, absolutely. Even for someone as foreign as me. You were talking around the question, though.**

"Was I? Maybe… I suppose I'd have to say that no, not really. Of course, I can do things he doesn't like, also if he speaks his mind, but I doubt I would do much if he asked me, seriously, to do or not to do something. I haven't been in the position yet, so I don't know. But it's the same for my brothers and sister, so even if my big brother appears to be ever so cool and strong, don't think my father doesn't have something to say." Arya delivers the last part of the answer with a smug smile. "But you aren't that foreign, are you? I mean, how long have you lived in Westeros?"

**For the better part of 40 years, but this intervi-**

"40 years?! Wait, but you don't age like humans, right?"

**No, quite slower. Our life is longer than yours. But with all due respect, miss Stark, I would like this interview to be about you.**

"And that can't be done through a conversation rather than a questioning? That isn't always the best way to get to know people. But I guess you already know that, judging from how rude you were to my father the other day. Maybe he would've given better answers if you hadn't questioned him like that."

**I have a reason for my approach and questions demand answers.**

"You can't demand someone to give answers they don't want to."

**You've seemed quite open, though. Your father was as well, to a certain point.**

"That's when it's things we can and like to talk about. Most are open about that."

**How did you react to learning of your father walking out of the interview?**

"That the problem had to be with you or the questions asked. My father would rarely do such a thing so abruptly. I've only very rarely seen him angry or upset."

**When has he been?**

"Before this, a long time ago. When Robb and Theon were teasing…"

**Teasing who?**

"You don't need to know."

**What made you suddenly decide to be up for an interview?**

Arya fiddles her fingers. "Curiosity about the whole ordeal. All of my siblings have done several, proper interviews before, even my youngest brother. And now that you were here, I seized the opportunity. You weren't going to turn down the offer."

**No journalist would - and you know that. You mentioned before that even if your older brother would appear 'cool and strong', there was still a reason to think your father had a hand in it. You appear quite cool and strong now.**

"I don't know what you mean. That my father has a hand in this interview?"

**Well, did he?**

She huffs in what sounds like both disappointment and annoyance. "Yes, he did. He told me to be available for an interview with you. I couldn't make out why, since he was angry with you."

**I think he could be angry about a lot of things. But I've spotted Jon and you training together. Is that something you often do?**

"It's something we like to do when we're together. He lives at the Wall, I live in Sunspear, so we don't get to see each other that often any longer. It's healthy too, and we both like to stay fit."

**Why not let Rickon tag along?**

"He usually isn't up when we go running, besides… It's good to have some things exclusively with another person. A safe space for the relationship, maybe."

**I get the impression that you two are close.**

"All of my siblings are my family and I don't have favourites."

**You don't need to have favourites to be closer.**

"You already know why Jon would feel like a bit of an outsider to the rest of us. I also don't always fill the expected role of a daughter in the aristocracy like our siblings do, so I guess there is some mutual understanding there."

**But it seems like Lord Stark has been exceptionally compassionate towards the two 'outsider' Starks in his family.**

"He is a very kind man, on top of being clever and strict when he needs to. He made sure to stand up for his son as any father should. Mother attempted to make us fit into shapes that weren't made for us, but I think she eventually has given up on that."

**You don't find your mother to be as compassionate?**

"She is, but in another way. My mother thought that diverting from the norm too much would end up harming us. The Riverlands are conservative, so it only makes sense. She's strong, but has her blind spots."

**Have you given thought to why your aunt’s name was given to you?**

“Father misses her a lot, although he doesn’t speak much about it. I think it’s just a gesture in her honour.”

**Not many would openly talk about their problems with their parents to the open public, especially not when they're alive and play an active role in your life.**

"Well, I guess I'm not like most people, then. It's best to be open about yourself and your intentions. Honesty gets you farthest in the long run. That's what my dad's always told us."

The continuation of the interviews will be published soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I really suck at updating. I would still love to hear your thoughts on this, it was fun to write.


	4. Catelyn Interview

Robb Stark sits at another table. The night is late, the room dim. Candles on the tables and raw chandeliers provide all light in the small dining room. Across from the then soon-to-be Stark president sits a man with a slightly ill-fitted suit and beside him, his betrothed. Only rarely does Mr Stark focus on the otherwise exceptional food being served; at the third serving, he glances only once as the waiter explains the course and how the Myrrish wine compliments the hints of berries in the fish. The restaurant is often considered a frontrunner in the gastronomic world, placed in the very heart of Aegon’s Hill in King’s Landing and the explosion of flavours make it hard for me to concentrate. Yet Stark contains his threatening expression and slightly squinted eyes. The man at their table leaves before the last dessert, adjusting his suit to no avail. Stark’s right hand fingers tap the table as he eyes him leaving. He’s hungry.  
His left hand disappears under the table and the look given in response by Mrs Tyrell leaves little to interpretation. I hastily leave my table and head towards them. His left hand does not appear when I ask him for an autograph.

_‘What does a reporter need an autograph for?’_ Ms Tyrell suddenly asks. I’m no good at hiding.  
Her fiancée’s jaw clenches slightly behind the short full beard. _‘Leave. I have no desire to give out interviews now.’_  
I keep my snarky remarks to myself and do as he says.

Stark had only recently moved to King’s Landing. As an editor in the economic section, I was asked to investigate potential market developments with the crown prince of Stark Group now based in the capital. I searched for everything I could, asked everyone I knew and could get in contact with that could give some insight. It led me to a vast array of people and I eventually knew about his meeting with a maritime shipment company from Pentos. As you can tell, I did not manage to extract much knowledge about anything from my espionage.  
I brought a piece with several failed predictions. Spokesmen from investors gave wrong calculations and financial experts fired with bullets in the fog. I mentioned having seen him - but the aforementioned episode was never mentioned. It stands as a testimony to my inexperience as a journalist and remains an awkward, slightly offensive episode. Maybe that relationship with the Starks hasn’t changed much.

This time, I am not investigating movements in the market. The inclusion will not be appreciated where I currently am, by the family that handsomely houses and feeds me. Least of all by whom I am interviewing in this article. But _winter is coming_ , and in those words lays an eternal kernel of truth. An honesty that you can never get around. I like to think those words bring forth honesty, not just from the Stark family itself, but from the Northerners in general. For a brief time, I think I will adapt.

The distance between the Starks and I remains. Most conversations I have are with their staff. Maester Luwin, aged 79, has been with the family ever since he finished his education at Hightower University. He’s serves as their physician and as the private tutor for the Stark children. Despite his age, he’s physically active as he goes about the castle, managing equipment, dusting off old books and conversing with various other staff. I run into him in the old library of Winterfell. He points to young men and women sitting scattered around at the tables, knee-deep in books. “What I wouldn’t have given to be able to study, using the actual materials we learned so much about.”

“I would suppose you have plenty of opportunities now.”

“The books are all here, but my duties are everywhere else.”

Those duties are with the children, I am told. To educate and assist them in their endeavours. More importantly, though, he technically answers to the Lord of Winterfell.

“How has that worked? Has Lord Stark given you instructions?”

The senior maester smiles to himself. “I wouldn’t say that, no. As long as I’ve supported their education and health, he has given me free rein. Lady Stark, on the other hand…”

Lady Catelyn Stark, née Tully, has kept a low profile during my stay. Having only spoken to her once, I’ve seen her going about her business around the castle - moving gracefully, yet with an undeniable determination. I spoke to the head chef a few days earlier, who showed me a long, detailed list as to what to buy, how many and what nutrients were allowed and precisely when dinner was to be served. He did not complain, though: “It gives me a clear structure, for the most part. I know when there will be guests and what I can serve to whom. I don’t always cook the food myself, she regularly helps. And, well, to be frank, those lists primarily apply to the children.”

“That dress of yours is very beautiful. I haven’t seen one like it before. Forgive that I must ask, Ms, but I presume that it draws from your country?”

**Thank you, and yes, it does. You are the first to comment on it.**

“Is that so? I could perhaps imagine. You haven’t spoken to the few people in the family that care a good deal about what they wear and how they look wearing it.”

**I don’t have to ask whom you are referring to.**

“Of course not. We all dress well, naturally. I’ve made sure of that,” Lady Stark says with a slightly insidious smile.

**How come you were needed to make sure of that?**

“You live in King’s Landing, right? They dress differently down there and south of the Neck in general. You must have noticed. Northerners tend to dress more… plainly. It doesn’t have to be a worse way to dress; it is an expression on its own. Often, though, it is not used as such. Ned would only get properly dressed for formal ceremonies or important meetings. Otherwise, he would pick a grey or black blouse and get on with it. I wasn’t going to allow my children to do the same,” again, she laughs a bit at herself.

**Why would that be a problem? Does it matter what they wear?**

“It’s about taking care of yourself - and showing that you do. That you have a certain standard for yourself and take a little pride in that. I don’t condone judging others for not doing the same but you aren’t doing it for the pleasure of others. You’re doing it for yourself and your self-respect.”

**So it is not connected to your lordly status?**

“It is, naturally - I’m not ignorant of that fact. But I would dislike reducing it to nothing but our heritage, as it is also something personal. Though, our roles in society, as lords and ladies, as members of old and noble houses, should be treated with respect from ourselves. How can we do that if we dress like we don’t care? I don’t see any wrong in making sure our children learn that.”

**How did you bring this into the Stark family?**

“I would make sure that my children looked, at least, decent when leaving Winterfell or wherever we were staying. Some were more difficult about it than others, as I’m sure you can imagine. But they have all taken it to them. We would also make sure they had a say in choosing what clothes they would wear. I could, and would not force them to wear one specific piece of clothing because it was never about looking good, in and of itself, but rather the decency that brought caring about it.”

**You mention this as a Northern thing. How long have you lived here?**

“36 years, since I was 20.”

**Was it difficult to make this your home?**

Lady Stark thinks a bit before speaking, glancing down at her hands, folded in her lap. “There were many things that you had to get used to. Maybe the differences are because Northerners are First Men and us down south are Andal. I couldn’t say. In general, they are more distant and while friendly and kind, tend to view non-natives as _‘them’_. You have to do the majority of the work yourself if you want to become a Northerner. I was lucky to have my husband help me with so much. When we could spare the time, he would take me to different parts and cities of the North and tell me about the history of those places.”

**So that helped make you feel like part of the North? As belonging to it?**

“I think those are different things. You can be part of something without belonging to it. I am Lady Stark of Winterfell, so I am a part of the North. The title itself belongs to it.”

**You don’t think you belong to the North?**

“Relating to your question, of home, I think that is where you belong. Belonging is a personal feeling. It can change - but sometimes it doesn’t. The North is part of me and I am a part of the North, but my mind is from Riverrun and the Riverlands. I will tell you this; I do not pray to the Old Gods. This is no secret to the Northerners and as long as the Lord of Winterfell also does, they can live with it.”

**You pray in the sept instead.**

“Yes, I do. It was a gift from Ned after I had confessed that I could not make sense of his Old Gods. Once it was built, he told me: _‘This is you. It’s built of stones and marble just like the rest of this - and as long as I’m here, no brick will break from Winterfell.’_ I think he had prepared that one, but that does not matter. It’s a good picture of my place in Winterfell and the North; a part of it, but not entirely belonging.”

**How did you realise that you wouldn’t convert to the Old Gods?**

“My husband has already mentioned some of the difficulties in your interviews. On the surface, they don’t seem to mean anything at all. I cannot understand how they continue to have faith in them, but I deeply respect it. The Seven inform us about our lives. They’re a pillar for us to rest upon in every respect. We would weekly tend the sept and you knew what they did, what they could and where they were. I still do.”

**The Old Gods do have a sacred place other than just weirwood trees.**

“Ned and I were discussing our religions one night, many years ago. We realised that none of us had visited the Isle of Faces. We were granted access and decided to have the children looked after. If you ever go there, you understand why it has been allowed to be kept intact and why it’s special to those who believe in the Old Gods.”

**But it wasn’t special to you?**

“If you live in the Riverlands you are well aware of its presence. You’re told it’s a holy place for another faith and that is something you should respect. The island was special to visit but not concerning my faith. Though, it was to Ned; I could sense that he did feel belonging there. I can’t explain the place to you.”

**Ned-**

“Lord Stark.”

**Lord Stark. He felt belonging on the Isle of Faces and in the North. Is Riverrun where you belong? Your home, perhaps?**

“It always will be. But one can have several homes.”

**You do not have your maiden name, Tully, any longer. How come?**

“I may not have the name, but I consider myself as much a Tully as a Stark. I felt it was my duty when marrying a Lord. A formality, in essence, but even formalities exist for a reason.”

**None of your children has the name Tully. Are they Stark or Tully firs?**

“Stark, but that does not mean I cannot give them values from elsewhere. As my husband has already told you, they have been raised with both the Old Gods and the New. We have made several trips to the Riverlands throughout their childhoods and Riverrun, I’ve heard them say, is their second home. I’ve made sure that they won’t forget where their other half is made from and of.”

**A minor disagreement in your family occurred with Lord Stark’s resignation from the group. We’ve heard his side - what’s yours?**

“I don’t think my son was entirely ready. But he is stronger than anyone, than me or his father. He can take it head-on. It was a challenge, and still is, but he hasn’t met a challenge he couldn’t overcome yet.  
“Ned had discussed his plans and I had disagreed. He insisted and I do not possess the power to stop him. It has already shown results in the profits, but of those, we have enough already. What does more wealth matter if your life gets worse as a result? I would have had him prepare, at least.”

**Lord Stark told me to ask you about whether or not Ms Margaery Tyrell will do as you and take the Stark name.**

“Haha, I suppose he did. That’s up for them to decide. Margaery herself, specifically. I would like it if she did, but if she doesn’t see the same necessity as I, it’s alright. As long as the grandchildren bear the Stark name, it does not matter.”

**You feel a sense of duty towards the Stark family.**

“That I do. That’s the role you accept if you become the Lady and wife of a Lord. It is not a price that you have to pay. If you view it that way, then do not wish or seek to be Lady of someone. Having children is a gift and only a good part of that life. But let me speak clearly, I have only positive things to say about Margaery. She is a wonderful girl and I have no reason to worry in the slightest.”

**Is this duty only for the Lord and Lady – and not for ordinary people?**

“It is primarily theirs. They carry an immense history of heritage on their shoulders, thousands of years and hundreds of ancestors who bear the same name as them. You must make sure you carry that on, to the best of your ability. But those who are not direct heirs are not exempt from duty either. They have a name to take care of and are given the most fortunate of lives. For that, they should be thankful and respectful.”

**Your daughter Arya seems to pay respect in another way.**

“She has had her problems with finding her role in the family. That is understandable and acceptable - to a certain extent. As you’ve learned, she does have great respect for the family. She holds it above anything else. The Tully words have had their effect on her, too, even if she does things that are not always worthy of only condonation.”

**Your children have their lives full. What does that mean to a mother?**

“It means you have succeeded - even if you cannot grasp it. It is the goal, after all. But you work so hard for it, put all of your thoughts and strength into achieving it, while it for so many years lies far ahead. Suddenly, your first is there. Then the next, so it continues. In that, it is a bittersweet victory. They are all so far away and you just have to be content with what you have helped establish for them. You want to see it and continue to be a part of it, then you suddenly aren’t allowed to. You remember them looking to you for approval of a drawing. Suddenly, you have to ask to look and give it. Other things become important for them and you’re set a bit to the side. That happens no matter what. You know it comes, but you truly cannot prepare for it.”

**They are all very successful in what they do, have partners, all they could wish for. How have you helped _‘establish’_ that?**

“By being a good and caring mother. Given them both restrictions and freedom. You are so happy for them, always, and you have to realise that that is the reward itself, for all of the hard work you have put into them. There is no gold pot, but the rainbow continues. A satisfactory ‘thank you’ from them will never come, it never can. Instead, it comes in the form of seeing them happy, with the family and the ones they decide to share their life with.”

**A bird has whispered that you pay close attention to your children’s partners.**

“It’s an important choice for them and will be a big part of their life. Of course, I pay close attention. Any parent would.”

**You don’t have a problem with Arya’s?**

Lady Stark clears her throat. “His… Heritage wasn’t quite what we were used to, in neither the Tully nor Stark family. His job neither. We were taken aback, I will admit. But it is far from the deal that some tabloids have made it out to be. He is a very fine young man and incredibly kind.”

**And Brandon’s?**

“Meera is a sweet girl and Ned is very thrilled about their relationship, so I will not complain. I did raise a brow when learning her age, however, it proved to be of very little importance. My husband is, in fact, a lot more excited about them than he lets on.”

**Rickon is the only one of your children still living at home. Winterfell will soon be Lord Stark and yours only. Does this concern you?**

“Concern? No. It is a big home for two people who won’t use the space, but we’ll figure it out. Concern isn’t the right word for my Rickon leaving either. Melancholic, perhaps. No mother wants their child to leave the nest. With only Rickon left, we get the most out of it. The last years of parenthood as we’ve known it for so long. I don’t want to go to that next chapter, but I cannot stop reading.”

**Have you made plans for when that happens?**

“I won’t discuss this at further length. I have no answers to give.”

**The Riverlands are usually considered very conservative. Being a Riverlander, what are your thoughts on that perception?**

“Westeros in general is quite conservative. Yes, there have been movements for equal rights for homosexuals and women, both of which I can only support. All over Westeros, you see people hanging onto their tradition; in each country, in each city, each family. The monarchy was deposed, yes, but people still want this system of Lords and Ladies. It has such a long history on the continent and most people, by far, still support it. That _belongs_ to the continent and our culture. It is then only right that it is kept and preserved. Some even still desire the ceremonial monarchy and advocate making Daenerys Targaryen queen of Westeros. So, when people point at the Riverlands and call us conservative in a negative sense, they often fail to realise they are almost just as conservative themselves. There shouldn’t be this stigma around the word anyway. I believe it’s only been a trend since the Targaryen Revolt. Most have conservative ideals and lead conservative lives.”

**The Riverlands also have the highest rate of religiosity in Westeros - has this been present in your life?**

“I think that is a fact many refer to when discussing this topic. It is true, it means a lot to our communities and national identity. I would simply like to point out that many are quick to point at us and argue about religion when they generally practice the same life as we.  
“As I said, we would attend the sept at Riverrun once a week. We would listen to the septon and take heed of his words, ponder the chosen passage from The Seven-Pointed Star. We had to learn several by heart - all of which I remember to this day. I have learned much from those sermons and they are a great way of being introspective and reflective. You can be that without faith, but it will help.”

**Is that a community you miss?**

“Sometimes, yes. Luckily Riverrun is not far away, especially not today. I go there regularly, and love partaking in those ceremonies. And always get a bit annoyed if they differ from back then. I suspect it is that way for most, when they return to their childhood homes. You want things to be the same as you when you left them. It would be the same for you when you come back to the Thousand Islands, right?”

**I have not been back in a very long time. My life is in Westeros. But I do agree with your sentiment.**

“It displays our affection towards our childhood. What we came from makes us who we are. At least, it is something that will leave us.”

**Do you sometimes dream yourself back to your childhood?**

“Rarely, I must admit. But it can occur, when the sky is grey, no work to be done and with Ned away. When you feel a bit alone and you delve into your memories, then they appear. It’s a longing for something stable and known. Back then, you knew the lines not to cross and how most days would go. You had tangible goals. I’ve strived for the same as an adult and I want to give that to my children as well. Spontaneity can be good but it should be the exception to the rule. Some are better than others at administering that.”

**You grew up with two younger siblings; a brother and a sister. Living in Winterfell, how much do you stay in touch with them?**

“We were very closely knit, us siblings and our parents. We could have our disagreements, as in any family, but my father made sure that we always stuck together. My daughter mentioned it to you, how it can sometimes be difficult for members of lordly families to have normal friends. Riverrun even has a moat, so by far most of our daily lives were with each other and the staff. My father would make us write short essays on the meaning of our family’s words, to make sure we never forgot them. Family always comes first, no matter what.  
“Yes, I do stay in contact with both of them, very much so. Hopefully, now, there will be even more time to visit.”

**Not quite childhood, but Lord Stark isn’t the first Northerner to have caught your interest.**

Lady Stark smiles a stiff, kind smile. “That is many years ago now.”

**It is not something you have spoken much about.**

“I don’t believe that something so personal needs to be public knowledge.”

**Lord Stark didn’t hesitate to speak of him. In what way is this _more_ personal than his recallings?**

“They were brothers. He and I were…”

**Yes?**

“More than just friends. For a brief time.”

**It always hurts to open up an old wound. But it is important to tend to it.**

“What is it that you want to know?”

**What makes it so hard to talk about?**

“He was the heir to all of this. The man was brutally assassinated, to no end but to hurt and harm, and hurt and harm it did. One thing was the crazy, sadistic lunatic of a king, another is killing an innocent man with next to no connection to the ordeal. It was unjust - in every respect. Maybe we weren’t meant to be, but I did like him. So did all of the North and many outside of it. He grew up knowing that he’d become Lord Stark of Winterfell, and now I’m the one who has the other part of that title.”

**Winterfell is beautiful, Lady Stark. You have taken good care of it.**

“I thank you.”

**Do you think he would have disliked you for the position you’re in?**

“No, he was a good man. With his flaws, granted, but a good man beneath all of his shenanigans.”

**How come you feel guilty, then?**

“Because you feel the injustice deep within you. I have a part of what should’ve been his and horrible things outside either of our control were the only thing that stopped him from getting it. I know that I speak for Ned when I say that he feels guilty, too. Most likely more than I. It is a long time ago now; we rarely speak of it. We have done so previously - it was, after all, how we found each other - but it does not come up often any longer. I suppose that is a good thing. You should move on from sorrows but not forget them. They have a right to claim a space in your mind. Some claim it more often than others. I think of my father now and then, but he died a natural death and in old age. Sorrow is in that, of course too, but no injustice. Nothing that wasn’t meant to be lost was. A child’s sorrow for their parent’s death is natural and how life is supposed to go. Sorrow for the same of their brother, who passed at a young age - that is the injustice of the world. It’s what we create for ourselves and all we can then do is pray to the Father that he will do his deed and bring justice. Or, whatever comes closest.”

**Much horror struck the Stark family in that time. Lord Stark’s brother, father, sister…**

“I am most aware. But Ned is strong. It continues to pain him and back then, it was unbearable. I could tell. But it was never something that he could never muster and I will forever admire his bravery in that. I would never have been able to go through the same.”

**How well did you know his family back then?**

“I knew Brandon quite well, of course. I do not remember much about Rickard Stark, as we only met a small handful of times. From the impression I am given, he was a kind but strict man. Even more of the old school than I.  
“Of Lyanna… I did not know her well, either. Ned insisted on adding her name to Arya’s and while I had protested from doing that with Sansa, I knew not to deny him his wish a second time. The others were Ned’s family too, and he wept for them as well… But there was something significant about the loss of Lyanna. Moreso than the others, if I dare say put it that way. So, so young, beautiful, full of energy and all of her life ahead of her. Both Brandon and Ned were protective of her, and yet... It is unfathomable how vicious the Royalists were in targeting the Stark family to the extent they did.”

**Why do you think he insisted on adding Lady Lyanna’s name to Lady Arya’s?**

“I am not certain. He requested the same for Sansa. At that time, I thought it was something that he needed to get over and move on from. Maybe that wasn’t the right approach. With Arya, I could sense it was about something else, a-”

**Like what?**

“... and I did not insist on knowing exactly what.”

**You are the mother of five and have not let their care be handed to anyone else. Like for so many other mothers, it comes at the cost of expanding your career. How true has this been for you?**

“That was a conscious decision on my part. I knew before I had them that my children would be the centre of my life, so I have not considered it a loss. Ned was often busy with the company and I would never leave them with a caretaker if I could be there myself. I can understand how some are not willing to give up all of your professional life to live with your child, or children, every day. But it is part of it. If you don’t want that, then you should not become a mother. Only very, very few can manage both and I applaud those who can. I think most women who become mothers learn and accept this. It is just as an acceptable way of life, no matter what career culture would have to say about it.”

**Has that always been your dream? Having children and being their mother?**

“I can’t remember when it hasn’t been. Maybe it’s my upbringing. I can say that I cannot imagine life in any other way.”

**What if you were infertile?**

“I beg your pardon?”

**If that was your dream, and it turned out it wasn’t accomplishable - what would you have done?**

“I… I’m aware that cultural views from the Thousand Islands differ from ours on parenthood, but surely you must have realised how offensive such a question is to a woman.”

**You are 20 and for the last two years, you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re unable to have children. What ignited your thoughts? What made you excited? What drove your youth? ******

Lady Stark leans back in her chair, her eyes directed at me but without looking. My heart pounds and I’m sure, so does hers. “I used to write. And read, a lot. I still do the latter, but less seriously.”

**Less seriously than what?**

“I would spend an excessive amount of time studying the stories and become lost in their worlds. Hours would be spent analysing the characters and their actions. Sometimes I’d tell my friends or family about it, although they never really cared too much.  
“There was this one book, with a young woman who cycled almost continuously on her blue bike. It was always sunny and when the weather changed, someone close to the road would be happy to take her in for a night. The rain would come and a large tree would be there to cover her until it went away. I can’t remember where she cycled to… If she even did have anywhere to reach. She just went on. Do you know that book?”

**I don’t, I am sorry.**

“No matter. She was always young and pretty, of course. Her bike never broke nor did even the chain get loose. Do you envy her?”

**Of course. Don’t you?**

“Maybe… Sometimes. But there are plenty of things that she will never get to experience that I have. She’ll only have a bike once her time has come.”

**But everybody wants to ride with her. To the end of the world.**

Lady Stark nods and we sit a complacent silence for a few minutes. We are completely undisturbed and I lay my pen away, the notebook in my lap.

**You mentioned that the pain was unbearable for Ned, yet he continued. How would say it changed him?**

“It didn’t change him as such. But it did increase parts of him that were already there. Melancholic and reflective, thoughtful.”

**Excuse me for putting it this way, but was Lord Stark never cheerful, even in his youth?**

Lady Stark laughs in a light and pleased tone. “He can be, but it is not in his nature to be outgoing. Maybe there indeed was a bit more of it back then. But he’s not always as serious as he appears to be - consciously or not. However, he was forced into adulthood way too early. Many of us were and thousands of normal Westerosi too.”

**In what ways was it difficult to get into your role as Lady Stark after the Targaryen Revolt?**

“That speaks almost for itself. We were shaken to the core, both of us. Robb had been born during the war and he was what we consoled ourselves with. Alongside Stormborn, they were someone to take our minds off the horrors and our losses. We did our best to live up to our public responsibilities but we weren’t always able to. Ned was called to negotiations in King’s Landing several times and I primarily stuck to being in Winterfell. That didn’t give off the best of impressions to the Northerners of their new Lady Stark. However, they were as understanding as anyone.”

**Were there only Danaerys and Robb to take your minds off the war?**

“Ned had the business, but there was Winterfell itself. I had to get used to its norms and walls.”

**Lady Stark, Ms Stormborn was not the only child Lord Stark brought back from the South.**

“I need not be reminded. I admire the courage of my husband to take care of a motherless child.”

**Was he motherless?**

“His mother died in the war. But my husband will not speak upon this matter and neither will I.”

**I see the difficulty in having to adapt to such a sudden change. Have you forgiven him?**

“As I said, I admire that he took care of his child even though it was born outside of our marriage.”

**Is he a member of the Stark family?**

“His name is Jon Stark, so yes.”

**Only in name, then?**

“Winterfell is the home of the Starks and he is always welcome here.”

**Have you made no thoughts as to whom the mother was?**

“I think most of Westeros has done that. Haven’t you?”

**Very much so, but he hasn’t told you?**

Lady Stark stays silent.

The Next interview will be published soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts on how you think this one turned out!


	5. Jon Interview

Ned confronts me in the hallway. I look up at him, my small physique from the rocks of the Thousand Islands suddenly aware in my mind when faced with the Northerner. He asks me, as kindly as he can and can be expected under the circumstances, when I am done in Winterfell. “You are free to have me leave at any time, Lord Stark, but I would like to finish my interview with you.” He strays from answering directly and tells me that I’d be welcome at the dinner table the same evening.  
Jon “Snow” Stark joins the table, two seats on my right. Between us, a conservationist from White Harbour. He has been hired for the maintenance of landscape paintings in the Great Hall. The former, I think, has eluded me during my stay. Only rarely have I spotted him, usually running or quickly pacing throughout the castle and once have I received his glance. In my conversation with the conservationist, I ask Snow how he feels about Winterfell’s paintings. The man has the attitude towards them one would expect from a military man.

Close to three years past, a militarized corporate group of mercenaries were terrorising the mining communities in the north-central Sothoryos. The Mining Affair, it was publicly dubbed, as a company continued to grow their monopoly on the production of precious gemstones and metals, eventually developing into a de facto state-separate entity. This was confronted by a unanimous vote in the Joint Westerosi Parliament, dictating that they were to be dismantled. Deep within the jungles of the mighty continent, there was little the voice of even all the nations of Westeros could do on its own - the nations took the words of Lannister but the thick leaves and dense rain of an ancient jungle halt all roars. As the situation escalated, and an entire mining boomtown was taken hostage by mercenaries from Essos and their own ranks, the Night’s Watch was deployed.  
They quickly infiltrated the jungle and after a dozen of skirmishes and missions, the mercenaries had surrendered. Casualties: 1 injured “Black Brother”, 4 injured and 2 civilian dead; 33 dead, 101 injured and 140 captured mercenaries. When it came forward that Ned Stark’s second child had been not only involved but played a decisive role in the operation, I was told to write of how the Stark son with no mother had stepped in the shoes of his father.

The research began. It was not possible to get an interview with Jon - understandable, as a man active in the highest military force on the continent. How could I relate this to Lord Stark? The military has long run in the Stark family - what was so unique about this? I go through the well-known history of Lord Stark’s military history; basic training, rising the ranks with both privilege and skill, a few missions to Essos, culminating in the Targaryen Revolt and rewarded with both the Medal of the Guards and Westerosi Medal of Courage. After this, it stops completely and he has never shown himself at events directly related to the military of either the North or Westeros in general. With a new son and a lost sister, he may have had too much on his hands.

I refer to the old article and incident, to change the topic away from centuries-old paintings that neither of us pays too much attention to. He recalls the mission and article, and under glares from both Lord and Lady Stark, I manage to squeeze an interview out of him the following busy day. I am to meet him in the underground workout centre. A snowstorm is building up and is set to arrive overnight.

Snow is doing push-ups at a controlled pace as I enter. No one else is present at the well-equipped and undecorated fitness room. **Is this how you begin every day?**

He hadn’t heard me coming and a jolt in his body reveals a slight surprise. Unfazed, he finishes his set of push-ups before standing up, panting. “All days except one.”

**Is it the same when you’re at Castle Black?**

“We have to train early most days, but it can vary a lot more. When I’m active at the barracks, I’ll know the exercises are all planned. So I don’t need to structure it myself. When I’m not, I need to. It’s a good way to start your day. I’m embarrassingly bad at exercising during the day or evening when left to myself.”

**Is that structure something that you miss, when not at a barracks?**

“Not really. I like to have both so that they complement each other. It would be too much to have only one of them.”

**But you have to force some structure onto your life outside the force.**

“I do. Just a little. Maybe we can’t fully let go when still employed. And we’re obligated to stay strong and in good shape. Yesterday, for example, I didn’t eat like most of the others. We’re not allowed to do that and have to stick to a strict dietary plan almost all of the time.”

**In what way does that hinder you?**

“I’m not sure that it does. I can understand the reasoning behind it all - we can’t have field forces underperforming physically. That would help no one but those we are up against.”

**Who is it that you’re “up against”?**

“You wrote that article some years ago, you should know.”

**Let’s talk about that. On that specific mission, what did you feel towards those mercenaries?**

“Nothing. Not sure if that’s for better or worse, but it makes it easier to carry out the mission. You can’t be thinking of their families nor can you hate them irrationally. Your emotions need to be removed from the situation otherwise you aren’t thinking clearly.”

**Nothing when you pull the trigger?**

Snow pauses for a second and takes some water from his bottle beside his mat. He shrugs as sits down, lifts his legs from the ground and grabs a weight. “A flinching thought passes through. I cannot imagine how terrorists can do it to an already neutralised person; I don’t think I’d be able to do that. It’s different to shoot at a distance when they are also firing back - or would if they saw you. The human element needs to be removed during an engagement. Another part of the brain has to be in full control instead.”

**I can understand that. What about after the engagement?**

“You follow orders. It is not your full responsibility. It’s only if you engage contradicting terms of engagement that it remains your fault alone. Once you’ve killed someone, you have to remind yourself of that. If you’ve been deployed in a zone with active battles, you will eventually kill someone - if not more. That can weigh heavily on you, if you think too much about those whose lives you’ve ended.”

**Have you done that?**

“I suppose. I think most have, especially the first time.”

**What did you think about?**

He puts down the weight. The man looks straight ahead. “I don’t think he had expected it. It was in the Red Waste, near the Bone Mountains. It was under an ambush and they initially had the upper hand. We quickly turned that around, though, and I shot a man who had gotten close to us. Probably to get some better shots, but I had seen him and once he appeared from that cover…” Snow stands up and looks down at me with the seriousness of his father. “He wasn’t dead immediately. I ran to him to make sure and out of pure shock. Mine couldn’t match his.”

As he walks to the dumbbells and bench, it’s hard not to notice how well-defined his stature is. The Night’s Watch soldier picks up 22 kilos in both hands. **Who is that you fight for? Westeros or the North first?**

“Neither.” He starts lifting. “I don’t like that distinction, first of all. We are a collective force on the continent. But I fight not for the Westerosi Parliament in King’s Landing or the Northern government in White Harbour. It’s the people they govern that I believe deserve protection against those that would harm them. That’s what the Night’s Watch originally was. Now it just operates all over.”

**You can hardly argue those miners on Sothoryos are governed by King’s Landing.**

“Do they then deserve less protection? Most of the humans there are of Westerosi descent. They may have their own governments, but they are as close to Westerosi you can get without being an inhabitant on the continent.”

**Some have argued that the Sothorosi mission was to protect a market rather than saving lives.**

“Now what is that supposed to mean? Sounds like something they’d say in King’s Landing and Oldtown. Nobody with sense would share that view. That was a mission to rescue a town of hundreds taken hostage and to remove an incredibly corrupt group of “businessmen” and opportunists who had stolen the livelihood of thousands. What would we be, what would we defend, if that didn’t count as something we should combat? And even if those complainers are right, does that mean we should have watched passively as they continued to ravage the area?”

**You seem quite worked up about this.**

“Of course. It’s a nonsense argument that no one with any real relation to the affair would make. We saw them. The people were malnourished and terrified. That argument is an attempt to discard what was accomplished on that mission, which rescued hundreds of people and restored order.”

**Those mercenaries, are they exempt from your principal of not judging your enemy?**

“It was only after the mission that we learned how they had treated the people there. It had been a horrible couple of months for them. Under engagement, you remove your emotions and personal judgement. It’s important to remember that this enemy consisted of individuals too, but some don’t come back to haunt you quite as often as others.” Snow puts down the dumbbells and stretches his arms and shoulders, going to the treadmill.

**The Night’s Watch was originally supposed to guard Westeros against the then-named Wildlings. Your father acknowledged there was still some tension between the two groups…**

He ties his hair into a knot before starting to run. “There still is, sure. It’s not at all a part of the Night’s Watch today, or any part of the military stationed at the Wall. Sounds more like a general thing, unfortunately. We actively partake in training missions with them and I’m only glad the North has accepted the thousands that have asked to move south of the Wall. Have you been north of it? It is remarkable how they have been able to survive up there for so long. I have a deep respect for them and very little for those who dislike them purely because of their demographic.”

**I mean not to reduce your opinion to a matter of simple circumstance, but it seems obvious to view it that way, your partner considered.**

“I’m aware of that. I’ll also acknowledge that she helped me adopt that view of the Free Folk, but that doesn’t make it any less right.”

**How is your relationship viewed inside the military?**

“We have to keep it at a distance. Of course, we can’t go on missions together if it came to that. But she’s no longer an active pilot, she’s supervises missions now. She’s higher up the food chain than I, which my fellow soldiers think I’ll forget if they don’t remind me every day. But it is in good spirits and people seem to like that we are together. It’s not commonplace, but as long as Ygritte and I don’t let it interfere with our work, there is no harm done. She’s not in Winterfell with me this time, as she had some work to do at Castle Black.”

**Ms Rattleshirt’s back-**

“Please don’t call her that. Ygritte is much better.”

**Ygritte’s background hasn’t caused any tension in the family either?**

His speed increases and his body moves like a machine, in perfect coordination with the belt under his feet. “Not her ethnicity. No one in the family cares about that. It wasn’t so much that she was from the military either, but I guess her personality is connected to that.”

**Her personality clashed with your family?**

“A bit, yeah. She’s very brash and I’m not sure they were all quite prepared for that. In the beginning, she did her best to act properly but had very little idea how to navigate among the very wealthy. Keep in mind, Ygritte was born and raised north of the Wall and had only seldom been south of it outside of work. So, bringing her to Winterfell and my family took her aback. Some of my family was taken a bit aback, too. But there is no need to blow this up to something it isn’t. That kind of petty drama is something most families endure.”

**Maybe you just do bring drama to the family.**

His look made it clear he didn’t find it funny. His running continues. “Now that can hardly be my fault, can it? But I’m here still and I’ve always tried to stay out of drama.”

**But engage in deadly military missions.**

“That is very different. During them, there is nothing personal at stake besides my life. In a family, much more is potentially at stake. My death in the field would hurt them greatly, of that I know, but it would not be personal. Personal conflicts in the family can probably hurt more, in a sense.”

**So you’d argue that bringing you to Winterfell created a great deal of personal conflict within the family?**

“Yes, naturally. Of course, it did. I mean, who wouldn’t be upset at that? I can understand that. I’d be mad as well, if it happened to me, somehow.”

**What else would you have done?**

“I don’t know, what kind of question is that?”

**Seems that you would know better than anyone else what you have missed.**

Snow mumbles to himself and continues to run. His speed increases and the hair bun gets looser. Having been active from even before I came to him, the hardened soldier pants as his eyes direct forwards, away from me. This continues for a short while as he finishes off with a sprint. “I can’t really say, can I? How could I put it into perspective? I don’t know how to relate myself to having a mother.”

**You grew up close with your half-siblings, who all had a mother. In what way did you, or do, sense that you missed out on something they had?**

“I don’t know…” he steps down from the machine. “Another person to fully rely on. I had my father, but he has always been busy. He was, and is, a great father nonetheless, but his job didn’t allow him to be available all of the time. Meanwhile, Catelyn stayed at Winterfell to take care of us. If I wanted to do something that I had to ask permission for, I did it with the backing of my siblings. And I would often stand behind them, literally. I recall one time when I was building a snowman or something in the Godswood. Catelyn scolded me for that, as it wasn’t respecting the Old Gods or something. Then Robb came and said that he had helped me build it. She asked to see it and suddenly, it wasn’t that bad of a snowman. We still had to remove it, though.”

**Do you wish that she had treated you the same as her children?**

“Is it my place to wish for that? Can I expect that from someone? I maybe wish she had, but I don’t blame her. It’s the Stark family; old history, proud lineage. She married into it like so many others and I’m one of its side products. I have the name but none of the prestige. I can understand that.”

**Did she not treat Ms Stormborn the same as her own children, when she lived in Winterfell?**

“That’s different. She has nothing to do with, well, my father. That’s taking care of someone completely estranged from the family. The same can hardly be said for me.”

**And Mr Greyjoy?**

“He’s also an entirely different matter. He was quite older than when he came into the fold and I can’t speak much on his behalf.”

**Is all this a shame you bear?**

“I wouldn’t say that I see it as a shame. But I can say that it is just something that I’ve had to live with. Relate myself to. For Dany, it would be much more complicated. I know she sees Catelyn and my father as the closest thing she has to parents and that’s with none of their genes in her.”

**Have you felt as if your half-siblings always kept in mind that you do not share the same mother?**

He lies down on the mat to do crunches. “They have kept it in mind, but it hasn’t influenced how they’ve behaved towards me. Anyone would keep the fact in mind, especially in a lordly family and with the mother unknown. But none of them takes any distance from me or that fact because of it. As Arya mentioned, we were always a very close group and I have been part of that group just as much as my half-siblings. One time, when we were in downtown White Harbour, Robb punched someone that tried to make fun of me for it. So yeah, they don’t have any issue with it.”

**‘Snow’ is the old pseudo-surname for children born outside of marriage in the North. How come it is your nickname?**

“That was Arya. I think she was 8 and I was 13 when she discovered exactly what you just mentioned. She began calling me that, teasingly, much to my dismay and to her amusement. She was told that she shouldn’t call me that, but Arya being Arya, she continued. There was no stopping it and I eventually began responding to it. After that happened, the others began calling me that, from time to time. So I simply embraced it and, well, it stuck.”

**That is also your _nickname_ in the military?**

“It is. It’s in parentheses on my dog tag and most address me with it.”

**The Starks have a long history of military service, so to speak, being one of the old _Great Houses_. Do you think you’re carrying on a legacy, in that sense?**

“If I do, it is not deliberate. I did look up to my father and I could never get enough of hearing stories from the war. He would be a little hesitant to tell them but I always convinced him. I don’t think he saw it like that in the way you’re describing, either. He told you he joined because he thought it was the right thing to do for Westeros. And we have shared positions; I am an outsider in my own family and will not inherit almost anything after my parent’s passing. My father thought the same, being the second child. Our name would help us get a career, but what truly kept us both there is the sense of camaraderie that you won’t find elsewhere. Without it, no one would remain in the military for long. Maybe there is something that draws Stark men to the military but none of them does it to preserve some legacy.”

**He told me to ask you if you view it as _‘as a sacrifice’_ , to be on the front line for the safety of Westeros.**

“Like him, I don’t view my career as a personal sacrifice. That is most definitely the wrong way to go about it. I think you can have that view if Westeros was at war with someone and manpower was needed. But in our times of peace since the Revolt, it isn’t. It’s a profession.”

**You take a lot of the same positions as him.**

“I don’t see any wrong with that. If someone’s a good parent, their children will adopt many of their positions and behaviours.”

**Ned seems to have removed himself from his time in the military. Is that also a position you’ll take?**

“He’s done his time, there are many other things he needed to take care of and pursue.”

**He has categorically denied every request to speak at or participate in any event related to the military since he officially became Lord of Winterfell. How did he take your decision to join?**

Jon sits down on a bench, finished with his training. Sweat is wiped off his forehead. “He didn’t want me to go. Not that he denied me the possibility, but he was strongly against it. _‘I could be and do so many different things in my life’_. And I would get all the help he could provide me with getting there. I insisted that I enter the military and he has accepted how that is a part of me. But he always not-so-subtly asks how well it’s going.”

**Why do you think he feels that way?**

“To him, war is a thing of a past. He’s been there and he has suffered from it. That makes it hard for him to promote it, I think. Personally and on my behalf. But the state of warfare for Westeros has vastly changed from the Revolt, which itself was unparalleled. I’m on missions to defeat terrorists and rescue captives, not in a half-way civil war.”

**So you think he would have had the same reaction if, say, Brandon chose the same route?**

“I think so, yeah. Why wouldn’t he?”

**He didn’t bring Brandon home from war.**

“I don’t think that matters. My father is not selective with his principles.”

**I just have an inkling of an idea that it may be related to your mother.**

Snow shuffles in his seat. “That would be great material for a newspaper or a novel. Of course, you’d have that idea.”

**Has he ever told you who she was? I’m not asking you to give her name if he has.**

“He has never told me, no. I haven’t pressed the question either. I once did and he firmly refused to discuss the matter. Since then I’ve stayed away from the subject as much as I could. I’ve been told that I’ll know it at some point, but it has stayed that way for close to 15 years now.”

**Do you have any idea who it might be?**

“No. I honestly do not have the slightest clue.”

**According to the old norms you cite, your nickname should be Sand. Have you wanted to visit Dorne?**

“I’d maybe go there to visit the cottage and the yacht, Sansa often uses both, but it is not something I feel driven to do because I was born there. Dorne means nothing to me on a personal level. What would a visit down there even achieve? It’d be hopeless to search for my mother, if she even lives, manually that way. I’ll find out someday, but going to Dorne wouldn’t help.”

**If she was or is Dornish, maybe you’d come to like it.**

“Maybe, that’s not for me to say.”

**Then who else?**

“Do you think she was Dornish?” Snow seems to have calmed physically, but his brows are furrowed.

I pause for a short minute before answering. I can’t tell. **The question is what your father did in Dorne after he had failed to rescue his sister. Why do you think he won’t tell you who your mother is?**

“I can’t even get that out of him. But he’s hiding something, whatever happened in Dorne. He must feel ashamed about what occurred, otherwise, why would he not tell me?”

**Ashamed of what? Your mother? Himself?**

“That would depend, I suppose. Most likely himself, as he was an engaged man at the time with a child on the way. He hasn’t forgiven himself for that.”

**Being unfaithful is far from a good or alright thing to do, but it is not reason enough to keep the truth from you for so long.**

“I just need him to tell who and to tell me why. Does he even know how much weight he’d put off my shoulders doing that? I cannot fathom why he won’t just tell me. He speaks so often about honesty and being principled, from which I’ve learned plenty. But then he makes this one exception to his own rule. It makes me wonder if he is even hiding it from me or himself.”

**Wait…** A thousand words and hundreds of notes and details swarm through my head at that. **So we agree that the shame he feels having cheated does not justify keeping the secret?**

“I’d say that.”

**Then he would be ashamed of who your mother is.**

“But why would he be that? He is not one to blame another person so severely for merely giving birth, no matter who she was. He does not look down on other people that way. At any rate, it would not be severe enough to wait this long to tell me.”

**Forgive for suggesting this, but… What if it is your father that he is ashamed of?**

“What does that mean?”

**We know he spent about one month in the south after the war had ended. Before that, he had failed to rescue his sister, whom he also refuses to speak much about. Since that, he has refused to partake in military events, disliked you joining it and insisted on giving Arya a second name, Lyanna.**

“This does not make any sense. Essentially you’re telling me that Ned Stark is not my father and I’m his nephew?”

**This is very personal information, Jon. You’re being very open about something most wouldn’t. Do you want me to turn off the recorder?**

“No, don’t do that. Screw that.” Jon suddenly rises from his seat. “He’s kept this secret for too long. I can’t reach him myself, but maybe I can reach him through you and your paper.”

**Are you certain?**

“Absolutely. We may be wrong, but we’ll make him talk. You’re telling me that Lyanna may be my mother but that he is ashamed of my father. Who is that, then?”

**I can’t say for certain. I suggest we go over some of my notes at the room I stay in. I know you’re busy today, so mayb-**

“I’ll make room for it. I take a bath, then we go to your room.”

We haste to my room as if we’re on the run and hunted, ghosts chasing us through the old walls. They’re watching us even though none of the Stark family members is seen on our way and every footstep is painfully loud. Suddenly, the castle seems confusing in its layout and structure. Not only are the walls themselves impenetrable, but whoever might sneak their way behind them are bound to get lost in the likeness of one hallway to the next. There would be plenty of time for the defenders to arrange a counterattack inside the walls, to retain the castle in Stark hands. My heart is pumping, complementing the howling blizzard’s cacophony outside. I keep up with Jon as though we’re running, having to remind ourselves to appear normal. We’re sudden allies and it remains uncertain whether the Snow will be a traitor. We sigh of relief as my unlocked door is opened.

I open the drawers and folders containing whatever information can be needed. We go through it, asking each other and analysing on our own. What did Ned Stark do in Dorne? There are next to no indications. Jon suddenly looks up at me, holding several papers clipped together. His face is shocked. “You’ve written that Lyanna and Rhaegar had a relationship of some sort. What sort of relationship was that?”

I put away the note I made a long time ago, saying the late Ashara Dayne and Ned Stark very likely had seemed interested in each other. That one had been stuck in my mind, but seems so irrelevant now. **I really don’t know. But could it be that…?**

The next interview will follow soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter required some restructuring while writing it, which (partly) explains the late update. It was interesting to write Jon and I decided to make him a bit more openly disagreeable with Ned.  
> I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter, all feedback is welcome.


	6. Ned Interview pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apply tinfoil.

The snow falls lightly outside my window. Wintertown lights up behind the double walls of Winterfell, claiming its existence in the night. Yet it clings to the very walls that bar it from the castle to which it belongs, for behind it; darkness. The thick snow reveals only bumps in the landscape and their power fades the farther you look. Winterfell Road becomes insignificant the closer it gets the distant Kingsroad. It’s 08:32 AM in the North and the dark is calm and kind as ever. The castle stays silent.

The dark doesn’t bring calm to anyone but the mould of the North and its slow snow. That continues to stay the same, just as the flowing wild rivers of the Reach and dry and sun-drenched plains of Dorne. The mountains of the Vale staunchly keep their strength while great winds blow across the Stormlands. They witness us and our minds flocking around, against the current of the rivers, deny the strength of stone and attempt to flood the desert. Thus is our condition and with what worry and entertainment must they not view us with.

Westeros changes and stays the same. Beyond the morning darkness, my articles have been widely read. Some think I’ve gone too far, some don’t think I’ve gone far enough. Rumours are spread over tables and pints all over Westeros, each with less credibility than the next. Every morning in King’s Landing is a new one and one can only expect one thing to stay the same; that the next is like a thousand others and like none at all. It’s been difficult to refrain from answering emails and not telling the editors what has been going on. Members of the family that hosts me have written to me, complaining they aren’t left alone any longer. The forgotten North has claimed its fame anew.

I write with responsibility and I have not been ordered to leave. The Old Gods know the truths - but they do not judge. You cannot escape either. The dark lightens as the snow grows in numbers and size; days are short and their daylight is sparse, we are not given much time. It’s all closing in, we find ourselves fumbling in the dark mess of our minds, grasping at whatever we can. The light shall help us one day, on the other side. Maybe it will then help us see more clearly. But for the Starks and Westeros, winter is coming.

His body is tense. He looks at the ground beside my chair as his strong body boasts sitting on its own. There is only a small table for my recorder, nothing else. We are both without assistance.

“I heard my son has written to you. Is that true?”

I nod.

He sighs. “I apologise, he can get somewhat riled up when a soft spot is hit. Don’t give it another moment’s thought. I’ll take care of him.”

**It’s a soft spot for you, but for him? Why?**

“He cares a lot for the family. Perhaps more than he should, at his age. He’s not even married and in his mid 20’s. I can’t fault a man for caring about his family but he goes about it in a protective way he shouldn’t. The Stark name is very close to him, which is good for his future as Lord Stark. But that’s still me, for some time, and he is not part of this interview. It is his business but not one that he should meddle with.”

**In what way shouldn’t he be protective of the family?**

“He can be overly protective of his siblings, they would all confirm that. He also doesn’t take any insult to him, the North or his family lightly, so he’s probably not too happy with you. Robb feels more responsible for the family than he is but that’ll be sorted out in due time. Making him president was part of distancing him from the family a bit. He tends to take me and Cat’s positions on a lot of things but he needs to be capable of making up his own mind, if he is to be the leader he wishes to be.”

**The protective responsibility is yours instead?**

“That’s any parent’s responsibility, so yes, of course. You take care of them in whatever way necessary. First, it’s very practical and later on, it’s much more emotionally oriented. The latter part is especially difficult for fathers, but we just have to put in the effort we can.”

**Taking in three children that weren’t from your marriage is quite some effort.**

“Thank you, but Jon is my son and thus my responsibility. Taking him in is not just a question of altruism. But we have plenty of resources at Winterfell compared to hundreds of millions of others, what would we be if we hadn’t done at least that?”

**What do you think Winterfell means to them?**

Lord Stark went to The Iron Islands in light of the recently defeated terrorist group, led by the now infamous Greyjoy family, to express his support for a new beginning. It was here that he took home the youngest member of the Greyjoy family, Theon.

“I know Theon views it as his home. His childhood may have been on the Iron Islands, to which he, of course, has a certain affection, but we have taken great care of him. His life and adolescence were established in the North. Who but a few from his family would open their doors to him in the Islands? He knows the Northern plains more than the straits of Ironman’s Bay.” His eyes reminisce. “I recall how little he understood, back then. His father was being imprisoned for terrorism and his brothers were dead. Suddenly, he had to be with us, a decision he was not involved in. So I expected a fair deal of unwillingness. When I went to the Islands to condole the endured losses and despair. But on the ship, I never saw him glance back at the Islands. His face was turned towards the North, a place that he had never been to, which would now become his home. Only once has he visited his childhood home since he left it.  
“Daenerys is a different story. We were always very forward about telling her about her past; background, family, and her position in Westeros. This is her home, but she never embraced the place the same way Theon did, despite growing up here. She left without it weighing her down and rarely comes to visit, however that’s not to say she dislikes the North or Winterfell, but there isn’t the same connection.”

**And what do you mean to them?**

“I think you should ask them about that. I’m not qualified to answer that on their behalf.”

**Then what are they to you?**

“The closest thing would be to call them stepchildren. Until they reached 18, Cat and I were their legal guardians. It would be wrong for me to call them my children. It was easier with Theon but even though we had told Dany that she wasn’t our daughter, that she had different parents, she would often call us mum and dad. I cannot fault that. The children she grew up around did so. Was I going to refuse a child the world she was given? I have not the heart to do so. Now, she doesn’t call us that any longer, but what else was she supposed to do back then? But I suppose all that matters is that I… Well, love them.”

**Has she suffered, been bullied, in any capacity, because of her Targaryen heritage?**

“I would _never_ allow that to happen. Neither to Theon because of his. In the beginning, there were whispers in the corners that painted her in a less than orderly way. I made sure to shut that down completely. Such things are completely unacceptable, unwarranted and pointless. Northerners were and are against the installation of a monarchy in King’s Landing, so that may produce some sentiment against Targaryens as an institution, but that doesn’t justify personal harassment of them.”

**And how do you feel about Targaryens?**

“They are gone from power and privilege. I see no reason to continue resentment but I would, of course, strongly oppose any reestablishing of their lordly or royal presence in Westeros. That many of the members of their family supported the inane insurgency proved to me that they clung onto deluded ideas of old. They were evidently unfit to sit upon a throne, even a ceremonial one. Rhaegar could have gone on to strongly denounce the actions of his father, but instead he supported him in the Revolt. He saw we wanted to dismantle the entirety of the monarchy while he wanted to be king. A man, a king, unable to accept the will of so many is not fit to be one.”

**Do you resent Rhaegar?**

“I resent him for dragging my sister away from safety and getting her involved in a war she should have stayed far away from. But I know what it is you are getting at. I read your previous article about my son, most of us did. That’s why Robb personally wrote to you. That’s why you haven’t seen us much the last couple of days. Your little interview has caused a stir, which I am sure you know. Maybe that was even your intention. But you knew what was going to happen when you interviewed Jon. Where the subject was headed. What you would turn his mind to. And showing him, my son, notes about theories you have plastered together? I’d have thought a highly regarded journalist would have better principles towards her subject than manipulating those involved. Now go ahead, state your claim.”

His face dissatisfied and accusing, I am taken by surprise. My fingers fumble with the pen and paper when it is my tongue that ought to act. His look is relentless. **I thought it would be evident from the article.**

“It is. But I want you to say it to me.”

I feel what the others were on about; he is not a man easily disobeyed. **I believe that Rhaegar and Lyanna had a relationship. You went to get her back at the end of the Revolt, however, she died from childbirth complications. The child was her and Rhaegar’s and you took him with you North to take care of him. That is Jon. You didn’t want him to join the military because of the circumstances surrounding his birth. You kept the truth a secret because of shame and sorrow. You couldn’t bear that another sibling died because of a Targaryen. It was better to lie and tell that you’ve cheated on your wife than it was to admit how Targaryens spoiled your family further.**

Lord Stark’s face remains unaltered throughout my statement. Not a single twitch, flick, anything. He puts his hands on the armrests and rises. “Come with me, there is something I’d like to show you.” I follow him from the Guest House to the connected Armory, going to its second floor. The room is a modern-day museum in old halls; equipment, armour and weapons of all sorts through Northern history on display against the backdrop of cold blue-grey stone walls. The greatsword is humongous, in both length and width, being taller than me. It hangs in the central glass display case, an altar to the past warrior lords of Winterfell. It is not hard to imagine Lord Eddard Stark wielding it.

“That sword belongs to the Lord of Winterfell. It is too large to handle on the battlefield, which leads you to ask - why did they have it? It was purely meant as a show-off piece, back when Valyrian steel was even rarer than it is today. They only used it for executions otherwise it was only there to revere its wielder. It was a sign of strength and honour for the Starks and it would remain as clean as possible. You were feared by your enemies and trusted by your friends with it. I’ve only ever held it twice. Both of the times felt wrong. I’m a lord and businessman, not a warrior. At least not any longer. But it continues to symbolise worth, as a man and me as Lord Stark. That is as powerful as any blow it could bring.  
“After your article had been published, I spoke with Jon. I told him the truth about his mother and father. He was shocked, to be sure, and he immediately went back to Castle Black to prematurely continue his work. It didn’t appear to me as if he was as upset as he was when you spoke to him. I’ve also told the rest of my family and we agreed that I ought to be straightforward about it with you. And subsequently, with all of Westeros. I am not concerned with what the rest of Westeros will think of me, but rather how it would upset those in my family if it goes public. Now that you’ve made me tell it to Jon and gather my family, is there more to be done? Why should I tell you?”

**Has Jon allowed you to tell?**

“He has.”

**What is it that you are afraid of?**

“The stakes are raised if I go public with it. It would make them all vulnerable. To live with the fact that the general public will know what happened. That’s another burden on their shoulders that should only be on mine.”

**Why keep it on your shoulders? Why let it be a burden at all? Will it not disappear from anyone’s shoulders once it’s been told? If not immediately, then shortly after.**

“Is it that the ends justify the means? Do you think of yourself as some sort of hero for getting this to happen?”

**I think that I’ve done my work to produce a story that aims at truth while entertaining - that is my job. The papers have sold like warm bread because of this, this article will too, so what does it mean to me now if you tell me or not? You are not obligated to tell it, no one in all of Westeros or the Free Cities of Essos can demand it of you. You have no one to help but yourself. And besides, whatever others will talk about will fade after a few years, at the very worst. It will be remembered, perhaps, but forgotten because it is not important to them. It’s important for you and your family. And I do think that honesty gets you the farthest in the long run.**

Ned leads me upstairs to the third floor. It’s a masculine leisure room, with a pool table, musky colours, subtle lighting and an extensive bar on the right. He asks me if I want anything before pouring himself a Deepwood whisky on the rocks. We sit across from each other in hunched back and soft, large brown chairs.

“Do you believe your own theory?”

**It’s the best I’ve got.**

“I see the sense in your reasoning but it is incorrect. I’ve insisted on calling Jon my son because he is. At the Lords’ Ball (a biennial gathering of the lords of Westeros, often for charity, previously the King’s or the Royal Ball, edit.) at Harrenhal many years ago, I met Jon’s mother. It’s… Difficult to get myself to say the name. I’m sure you already know of whom I am speaking. It was nevertheless here that I met her, and my wife will get jealous of the way I speak of her, but I was enthralled. She was beautiful and I fell for her in an instant. We were both young, with next to no care in the world and free to do as we pleased. We did as young people do, but it was only for the duration of that ball. We then split, going in each our direction from Harrenhal, each to our homes, but with the promise of meeting again. That was to be under circumstances none of us had anticipated or wanted. The king was voted to be deposed and not long after, my father and older brother were killed, my sister seduced and taken from her home. I need not tell what all occurred until the pseudo king was dead, with me in the war. I was often at meetings, in a camp, and with my betrothal to Catelyn, all I wanted to do was to get things done. The pressure was immense, civilians dying each day, no knowledge of my sister’s location, a pregnant fiancée and an unhinged king that could go off like a bomb at any second. It was in these times that she visited me. She kept up my spirits every time she came by. I’m not proud of what I did. It was wrong of me to be with another woman, of course, it was. I cannot imagine the pain and feeling of powerlessness it must have brought to my wife, when I told her years later.

“The fighting got more frequent and when she was suddenly with my child, we knew it had to stop. She retreated to Dorne for peace and quiet during pregnancy. I promised her that I would meet her again, a vain promise. I think we both knew that. Jaime killed Aerys and I Arthur, her brother. That day will forever stay clear in my mind. I realise as I hold my dying sister what torture I’ve inflicted to a woman I love. That I’ve gotten pregnant. Lyanna dies in my arms… And I’ve never read the autopsy. I don’t know what killed her. But I know what killed…” Ned closes and rubs his eyes. Takes a quick swig. “I had to go to Starfall to tell her. That her brother was dead at my hands. She doesn’t know that it was me, as she presents me with MY. OWN. SON! And what do I tell her?! That I’ve killed her brother only 4 days prior. And the North lies so far away, a distant land she’s never been to. Did she think of it? Did she imagine Jon, herself and I living and flourishing in the North? Perhaps a tiny sliver of hope satisfied her mind with the dream of removing Catelyn from the picture, so that we could live a peaceful life and throw all that had happened to us away. I could, but not she. She could stay in Dorne with our son but knowing that I would rarely, if ever, come to visit, knowing that there was no way she could also be in Winterfell, she gave up. I have never seen a person so crushed. So utterly devastated. I was at Starfall for days and on the morning of the fourth, Jon had no mother to wake up to. He only has a father that cheats on the woman he loves and who takes him from where he was born. That was all I could do. I could not leave him there or pay someone to raise him. He is my child. But what man is supposed to present his wife with a child that she has never seen before, as she does the same to him? What man makes a woman he loves take her own life? One can hardly call it suicide. It was murder. _Murder_ . I murdered Ashara Dayne.”

Have you seen your father cry? It’s a rare sight for most. Most uncomfortable, too. I remember when my father cried, the only time I’ve ever seen him do it. My mother was usually the sentimental one, the one who’d get the most emotionally worked up and quite easily so. Yet on the day that I left for Westeros, from one end of Planetos to the other, he cried. I didn’t know how to respond.

Lord Eddard Stark cries. With dignity, perhaps even honour - but cries nonetheless. There are few sounds to his tears, the way one would expect from a hardened Northerner. His membrane of steel softens as they break through its weak spot, unhindered, going down his cheeks. His hands refuse to remove them. I think he understands; removed only from the truth is the world outside these walls, outside this room. As I motion to cancel the recorder, his head shakes slightly.

**How much did you tell your wife?**

“She knew it was Ashara but no more than that. My wife is a brave and forgiving woman for not leaving me. Most others would have and rightly so. But she saw the pain I was in and even though she took so good care of me back then, I have not yet had the courage to tell her all. Because I was afraid she wouldn’t help me. I praise honesty and do not practice it myself. Still, I know where that leads you - perhaps that is exactly why I’ve taught my children to be so.”

**Would it have hurt Jon to know?**

“It’s not that I didn’t tell it to avoid him getting upset. That his mother is Ashara means nothing to him. It cannot. Knowing what led to his birth, to him being motherless, would. That his father was behind such a crime. Every day I miss her. When I look at him, when I know how he still does look up to me, how can I not be reminded of her? How can I not long for another reality? I know I have disappointed him. I saw it on his face when I told him. I told you nothing could combat a disappointed parent - what of a disappointed child? I stand powerless before him. I tell myself I see her in him when he is the one that looks like me the most.  
“The others are bound to be disappointed as well. Where is my basis as a father to them? Fathers are more than your genes. They are a part of you, so what happens when they go wrong? I know them well enough to realise they view me as their role model. They will soon know I’ve killed with more than just a gun.”

**You knew it would inevitably happen. He’d find out, perhaps after your death, but before his own. Does it feel better now that you’ve told him?**

“That elk in the Wolfswood. I never could shoot it. I felt the disappointment from my father and we simply went on with our lives when we returned to Winterfell. Nor did my brother speak of it, having missed the shot himself. What is left of them lies in the crypts of Winterfell and since I never got to talk about it before they were put there, that’s where I can speak with them about that day. I’ve done that several times, but I never resurface feeling any better. Jon did not get to have a stable second parent. No one but me to tell him it was alright, to make him feel validated. He can only seek that in me and I’ve always feared that was never enough. How that could somehow lead to being disappointed in himself. I hope this has helped him. If it has, then yes, I will feel better.”

**Feel better in what sense? About your relationship with him? Or what you did?**

“My relationship with him could heal with honesty, but I can never be forgiven for what I did. She couldn’t forgive me but she couldn’t hate me either. That’s why she jumped. I put her in a situation where our love took away a possibility for a shared future. That should never have been done. I convince myself of this, but what then of Jon, my son? Should he not exist? Doesn’t he have a right to, no matter what I shame I feel?”

**You talk about how you loved Ashara. Is that a feeling that you recall clearly?**

“Yes, it is. I loved my wife at the time as well, let there be no doubt. A man, or woman, can love more than one person at the same time. What they decide to do with their love, that’s the question. That’s what makes a person. This only makes my mistakes worse as I betrayed both of those I loved and got away unscathed.”

**You’re hardly unscathed. The Old Gods finally got their way with you. Now the judgement is your own.**

“They always do, don’t they? They are deafeningly silent and make us scream what needs to be, to fill that void. Then the rest is in our hands.”

The following day, I say goodbye to the Starks. The days are already shorter than when I arrived two weeks ago, not leaving much light to assist them. Winterfell is rapidly disappearing behind me as I drive away and go on the train to White Harbour. The further I get, the stronger I feel its presence. I feel like an intruder, a manipulator who infiltrated an ancient and forbidden castle, fleeing. I got the loot - but they let me take it.  
The usual buzz is pumping blood through the arteries that are the streets of the capital. A man buys coffee at a street shop in downtown King’s Landing. He gives me a short look before passing by me and entering the underground. What does the death of a woman 17 years ago matter to him? What does it matter to me? Or, dear reader, to you?

The office wants me to release the final interview and write this article. I cannot, I tell my chief editor. I promised Ned that I would wait until he had written to me, after a family meeting. When he finally writes, he thanks and invites me to the wedding of Robb and Margaery. Apparently, Jon and he have gone for a visit to Dorne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally done! I decided that there would be little to no reason for Ned, in a modern AU, not to admit if R+L=J. Besides, I've always liked the idea of Ned and Ashara having unresolved and/or tragic love between them. Ned is also taken a bit down to a lower pedestal in this, which was needed for the story to work.
> 
> I really liked writing in this format. Do let me know what your thoughts are about it – did it get monotonous? Was it a good way to characterise our beloved Starks? Did it work as a story or better as a portrait? I don’t think I’ll be writing a story in this format again but I could do oneshot-interviews for other characters. Suggestions? 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and happy New Years!


End file.
